Women Uninterrupted is an inter-generational podcast bringing you difficult, different and uninterrupted conversations about being a woman.
In Episode 2, we have a free-flowing conversation with the host talking to a teen and a preteen on the very first times they heard of menstruation. They also discuss whether the hullabaloo about the red panda in the movie, Turning Red, matters.
Produced by The Scribbling Pad for The Hindu. Brought to you by BSCPL Infrastructure Ltd.
Host: Anna ; Guests: Megha & Maya
Editors: Neha; Title music: The Carpet Beat, by Maya
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Periods, a personal note
Neha Srinivas, Grade 12, writes:
I got my first period in 8th grade, right in the middle of my inter-club basketball finals. Yikes, I know. The worst part, though? My dad was right there and I had no idea how to tell him blood was profusely flowing out of his 12-year-old daughter. When I did try, let’s just say it wasn’t as smooth as what was flowing out of me. Despite having the best intentions and helping me by getting menstrual pads, my dad had no idea how to react. This was not what he expected out of a basketball match!
On the ride back, despite bringing it up, the conversation could not have been more awkward. Why, though? Why was there such a big stigma associated with girls and their period that men, let alone their fathers, couldn’t even talk to them about it?
The next year, I visited a village for a geography project and while interviewing the locals, we brought up menstrual awareness and hygiene. Surprise surprise, they wouldn’t talk about it. The girls took me aside and said, not here, not in front of their “Papas and Mamas.” They said that they couldn’t afford adequate pads and that they couldn’t even beg their fathers to purchase them, because this topic was “banned” in their house. “Isn’t that unsafe though? And unsanitary?” I asked them, to which they smiled and said there was nothing they could do about it.
That was when I decided to ‘Break the Stigma.’ Launching this project under the Girl Up Club in my school, we managed to distribute six months’ worth of menstrual products for over 125 girls in the village, and three orphanages nearby.
The Period - full text of the conversation
(The text has been edited for clarity)
Anna: Hello, I'm your host Anna, and with me I have Maya who is 12 years old. Also with us, we have Megha who is 16, and in the 10th grade. We’re talking about how, when, and from whom we got our first period talks, those initial conversations about menstruation. To get this going, Maya and I had a movie date last week at my place. We saw the movie ‘Turning Red’. It's about a 13-year-old girl and her mother who turn into giant red pandas when they're stressed. Maya, what did you think about the movie?
Maya: I thought the movie was good. I thought it was going to be about menstruation, but it wasn't really, and I didn't think it was as controversial as you said.
Anna: I didn't think so either, but in the United States some parents were embarrassed that the movie made references to menstruation, and that was a controversy. That didn't make sense to me because I thought most parents would be eagerly looking for conversation starters about menstruation that are also fun activities. Let’s ask Megha.
Megha, how did your parents bring up the topic?
Megha: My parents didn’t treat the period talk as a big event because I had already heard about it in school, and I have an older sister who started her period when I was still young. In school, we had counseling sessions when we were around nine years old, telling us about the period and the biological causes and how to handle it. When I actually got my period, my sister was the one who helped me through the whole process, and taught me how to deal with the pains and the pads and situations like that.
Anna: How about you, Maya? Where did you first hear of menstruation?
Maya: I first heard of it when I was trekking with my mother and she was on her period. I was wondering what it was, so I asked her and we had the whole period talk then.
Anna: How old were you?
Maya: I was about 10 years old.
Anna: And you were on a mountain?
Maya: Yes.
Anna: Which mountain?
Maya: The Annapurna base camp.
Anna: That’s truly memorable, Maya. So now menstruation is not a mystery to you - not something you can’t discuss with your mother, father, brother - just normal life. That's exactly what the movie we saw, ‘Turning Red’, does. It normalises menstruation. People protested because it was an animated movie targeted at kids, but it brings in pads. There are parents saying, “Don't take your kids to this movie because there are pads in it.”
Going back to the period talk: On the trek Maya, what did your mom tell you? She told you the biological causes for periods?
Maya: Yes.
Anna: You’re now 12... what do you remember of the talk? Why do you have periods? What can you expect?
Maya: Actually, I don't remember much except something about the egg being discharged, and the result is the period.
Megha: When I was much younger, I remember my mom saying that your body is now ready to have a baby, and of course, now I know that we have a cycle of around 28 days and the period itself lasts for about a week. And Maya, I would advise you to start carrying a pad in your bag, because my first period was a complete surprise. I only knew that I had a lower back pain and that could be a symptom, so I went to check. I was too afraid to tell anyone but you should feel free to go to the nurse when you get your first period. Fortunately, the first year I had a very light flow, but that didn’t prepare me for the horrible periods I have now.
Anna: Sorry for that, and I hope you find solutions for that. Very quickly, I'll tell you this. At puberty, your uterus begins to form a nest for the fertilised egg, which you start producing when you hit puberty. When fertilisation doesn't happen, when a baby is not going to be born, the lining of the uterus which was formed starts breaking down. It releases through the woman's vagina in the form of a bloody discharge. This repeats every month, and that's why it's called the period, its repetitive every month. Let me read you a passage (now)...
This podcast has a blog and Neha Srinivas, she’s 16, wrote this: I got my first period in eighth grade. The worst part though? My dad was right there and I had no idea how to tell him blood was profusely flowing out of his daughter. Despite his best intentions, he didn't know how to react.
That's Neha describing her first period. How would you [describe it], Maya? How involved are the men in your family with this rite of passage?
Maya: Well, after speaking with me, my mom brought it up with my father and brother, and we just talked about how they would help me if I got my periods and my mom was not there.
Anna: That's good. In the movie, do you remember that giant red panda, which both mother and the daughter turned into when they were stressed? The giant red panda could be a metaphor for PMS —premenstrual syndrome—a wide variety of symptoms, which can begin just before your period. They last till it ends sometimes.
You must be familiar with PMS, Megha?
Megha: I didn't exactly know what it was, but I have been going through many of the symptoms which come with periods, such as cramps, migraines. My face often breaks out into pimples, but I never knew the term.
Anna: PMS is a host of symptoms, which affect different women differently. If you have symptoms that are truly debilitating, you can look for clinical solutions at your gynecologist. Maya, when you heard about PMS, did it freak you out?
Maya: Actually, this is the first time I (am) ever hearing of it.
Anna: It's not necessary you will have all the symptoms, but if you do, you will know you aren't alone after having talked to us, and that you can look for solutions.
In this context Megha, do you think ‘period leave’ is a solution?
Megha: I think that a lot of women go through a lot of pain during their period, and it's not fair that they're expected to go about their daily routine normally. Instead of period leave, I think people at work or at school should educate themselves about it, and say that you can take a couple of days off.
Anna: That brings me to when you had a period talk in school: were the boys in your class around?
Megha: The very first session that we were taken into, we were around nine and our class teachers took us in two lines—one for the boys and one for the girls. They told us we were getting haircuts, so we wouldn't be too freaked out about what they were going to talk about. For the first, two or three years, the boys were never included in the conversations about periods and puberty. They always had their separate sessions, but eventually they got to know about it because of their siblings, and we would talk about it often at school.
Anna: Okay, you were taken for haircuts, but you got to know about the period. What information do you think was missing? Do you think your school did a good job?
Megha: I think the school educated the girls about periods, but they also created a form of stigma around it by keeping the boys out of it. It was always done behind closed doors, with the windows shut so no one could look in and see the charts they were showing us.
While the talk itself was helpful, I think this created an idea in our head that it shouldn't be spoken of, and I feel like it should be fixed.
Anna: That's a good point. You told me when you were in high school your school took you to a factory that makes sanitary napkins.
Megha: I think the main reason why they kept the period talk in closed rooms when we were in primary school is that maybe some parents and families were not comfortable with it being discussed in mixed groups. When we got older, maybe the school got a bit braver.
Anna: Listening to both of you, I'd say things have not changed very much. My parents didn't give me a formal period talk, but we had a talk in grade six, when a sanitary pad manufacturing company gave us a slide presentation, free samples. Later we went on to discuss menstruation or body changes with our friends, and that's how we learned about puberty.
Currently, it's recommended to start talking about menstruation in phases, gradually from as young as six or seven, simple beginnings. For instance, you could be at the supermarket, you could be watching a pad commercial, you could ask your parent or the parent should talk to you.
Maya, what do you think can be done better? What do you think school could do better?
Maya: Well, I think school could have maybe brought it up earlier because they just brought it up, when we are in sixth grade. Whereas the same school that Megha goes to brought it up in fourth grade.
So, I'm just wondering, why would they bring it up so late for us when Megha got it before?
Anna: How about families?
Maya: I think the sessions at school prepared me enough, and when I had a false alarm, my mom was out of town, my father and brother helped me through it. Even though I did not know it was a false alarm, how my family dealt with it helped me to stay calm and not to panic.
So, if you are listening to this podcast, I think it would be a good conversation starter for the period talk to your child…
Anna: …Like how we are talking now.
Thank you, Maya, thank you for that. Thank you Megha for being on this episode of Women Uninterrupted, brought to you from The Hindu.
