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Love in the time of corona

loving couple in medical masks on quarantine. self-isolation and love concept  

Just a reminder. COVID rhymes with horrid, sordid, morbid ... and god forbid. And romantic often rhymes with idiotic.

So, all you incurable romantics out there, it’s better to accept the reality of COVID-19 and the new abnormal in romantic relationships.

Be careful how you demo your love this Valentine’s Day, or that heart-stopping moment you’ve experienced in previous V-Days may well be for real, in these times.

We’ve all been raised on classic stories that show that lovers have coped with similar crises before — and have learnt to take it in their stride.

Social distancing only made the heart go fonder — as Juliet kept a safe six-foot-plus distance on her balcony whenever Romeo came calling. Quarantining was great for Rapunzel — it helped her grow and grow her hair, and that enabled her knight in full body armour to visit her secretly at the end of 14 days.

Hand-washing was an obsession with Lady Macbeth — she never stopped till every damned spot and virus was out, out of her hands.

Wearing masks only enhanced the allure of several superheroes — though Batman would do well to cover his entire face, not just the top, considering the embarrassment that his own relative, a bat, may have started the pandemic. I hear that several beautiful fairy tales are being rewritten and redrawn. Even the title is being modified from Grimms Fairy Tales to Grim Fairy Tales.

Cautious beauty

Sleeping Beauty is the cautious beauty who goes to sleep only after putting on a mask after hearing from her pals that never sleep without protection — because who knows where the Prince has been for the past 100 years before he kisses her awake?

Little Red Riding Hood (also called Little PPE) sets a good example by wearing Personal Protective Equipment while venturing out, even if it’s only her grandmother she’s visiting.

Three Little Pigs are similarly well protected ahead of the wolf who comes calling: who knows what viruses will float about after he huffs and puffs? I have some tips I’d like to share with the romantically inclined who are on the prowl, looking for love.

The appropriate V-Day mask: don’t wear a boring blue surgical mask on this festive day. Look for one with red hearts all over, or big red lips right across. Wear a mask that makes a statement. And that statement is: “I am lonely and desperate for love. Please notice me.”

Sending home-delivery flowers: beware of potential sweethearts falling in love with the messenger. As said earlier, with a mask, some people look like superheroes, and these are desperate times...

Zoom-romancing: do worry about your sweetheart zooming in on things in your room you don’t want him or her to see. Like a week of leftover pizzas, and your new temporary romantic interest, accidentally walking past behind you.

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Printable version | Apr 23, 2021 4:05:42 PM |

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