Remember certain encounters at functions? “ Beta , you aren’t yet married? Why are you giving your parents a hard time? Find a guy soon, beta .”
The encounters continue. No matter if you have graduated, married and has a kid, it doesn’t stop. I have a four-year-old and recently I took her to a family function.
One relative came to us and started talking to my kid. “Hi baby, how are you? (no response from my daughter) What’s your name? (no reaction) You like your mom the most or your dad? (no sound) The aunty looked at me as if I’m a failure. “She has to be more social, she knows English na ?” I said, “No aunty, we speak the mother tongue at home.”
By this time aunty had finished writing the unasked-for progress report for my kid in her mind. Of course my mind too had completed the counter-argument and questions. Why should my kid speak so sociably to a person whom she doesn’t recognise? English is a language that is anyway taught, familiarised and improved upon in schools. Then why should I miss out on the joy of speaking freely to my kid in my mother tongue?
The most frightful words today for parents are “summer camps”. Before the schools release the final exam timetable, camp schedules are released. I saw an advertisement for summer classes, for age 1-14. It’s good to start early, but isn’t it better to understand the definition of starting early? Martial arts, swimming, tailoring, handwriting, pot-drawing, cooking, machine-making, rolling, compressing…
Next time before you enroll your kid in a competition or an extra-curricular activity, ask yourself if you’re doing this because you truly believe it helps your kid, or is it just to answer questions from an aunty or uncle ? If it’s the former, go ahead.
subharv@gmail.com
