The distinction between right and wrong is not always crystal clear. As the sensual English poet John Keats said, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, and so is one’s perception about what is ethical and unethical.
Having born and brought up in the countryside, I was new to the campus culture of city colleges. As soon as I graduated with a Master’s degree in English literature from Mangalore University, I got a job offer to teach in an elite college in Bangalore. It was a premier education institution run by the religious and was renowned for discipline and thrust on moral values.
It was my first week on the campus. The security guards at the entrance of the college and around the campus were seen monitoring the security and decorum of the campus. In a few instances, I saw the security personnel intervening when the students of the opposite gender were seen close together. I would not find anything wrong with that.
However, that fine day, my perception of what is right and what is wrong was challenged. When I asked a student why he had been absent from my classes, he replied candidly, “I was suspended for hugging and kissing girls!” It was a cultural shock for me! I was startled to hear such a confession from a student who had just finished his school and started his college studies.
Having studied in a college set in rural ethos, let along hugging and kissing in the open, even admitting the commission of such an act so confidently seemed something unusual. Though in my perception his act of kissing girls openly on the campus was unacceptable, the student displayed absolutely no sense of guilt or remorse. I was indeed puzzled. However, my bewilderment did not last long; as the days went by, I could routinely find boys and girls greeting each other with a hug or kiss! The fact that the students were doing that so openly meant that it was only a cultural expression of greeting without any pervert connotation to it.
Though such expression of social greeting was perfectly acceptable to the student community, the management had strictly forbidden such behaviour on the campus and the students felt that the the management indeed lived in the stone age to forbid an informal social greeting among students of a co-education institution.
As I introspected, I began to realise that one’s perception of what is right and wrong largely depends on one’s upbringing and socio-cultural exposure. I wanted to dig deeper into the perceptions of the students, teachers and parents on this issue and asked my student editorial team of the college newsletter that was running to come up with a survey-based news report on the issue. The team interviewed several students, parents and teachers and a whole generation gap was evident in their thinking!
While a majority of the students felt that greeting friends of the opposite gender with a kiss or hug was acceptable, many teachers and all the parents found it strongly unacceptable. Incidentally, a female colleague found nothing wrong in the views of the students and as if to justify her point, she greeted me with a hug!
So, the moral of the story is often the truth is beyond what you see and deciding what is right and wrong is a daunting task!
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