Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.
I am in love with a guy for the past two years. Even though he was in love with someone else, I really liked him. I proposed to him and we started getting closer. All this was done without the other girl’s knowledge. In fact he went on to completely ignore her and fell in love with me. Eventually he left her too and became all mine. My parents like him but can I continue this relationship with him? Will he cheat on me like he cheated her? He talks as if he loves me, so can I believe him? I’m very happy as he cheated a girl for me and came to me. But that girl is still thinking of him and calls him. What shall I do?
The two of you have hurt his ex in the process of finding each other. Though this situation could have been handled better, it could not have been avoided. You are right to discourage her from calling constantly but, instead of scolding her, start ignoring the calls, and eventually she will realise it’s time to move on. Besides, it is your boyfriend’s responsibility to deal with her, not yours.
As for your relationship, your boyfriend already thought the grass was greener on the other side once and left his ex for you. Now, perhaps, he is happy; perhaps, he is not. It is hard to generalise a person’s behaviour from one action, and you cannot predict whether he will cheat in the future. So if he sounds sincere, try to accept that he probably is; but if you continue to doubt his faithfulness, you should ask yourself whether this relationship has made you happier, or if it has just caused more stress.
I have a friend who is very close to me right from childhood. I have noticed something strange about her. She behaves just like the characters she reads about in books or watched in movies. For example, if she reads about a character’s death in a book, she keeps asking me about that and then asks whether she will die too. At first I thought she was just kidding but this is increasing. Please help. If you tell me what to do, I can save my friend.
Your friend’s preoccupation with death prompts me to ask: do you think she is at risk of hurting herself? If the answer is yes, it’s best to seek help immediately. Contact her parents or visit a psychologist. If the answer is no, then perhaps you could just talk to her about this, and tell her you have been worried about her sudden interest in death and dying, and want to know if there is anything bothering her that she wants to talk to you about. It is likely that your friend does not even realise she has this preoccupation, and just needs someone to point it out to her.