At any gathering, I can easily spot at least five people I know from Instagram. I know how they woke up and what they ate for breakfast. But I find myself smiling awkwardly at them. Now what? Do I go say hello? How does one not cross the fine line between being quirky and creepy? My heart rate could easily make an ECG go kaput.’ These anxious lines are mouthed by a stylish woman whose heart beats rapidly in the GIF.
Neethi, 27, an illustrator and textile print designer, describes herself as a ‘socially awkward person’. “I find it difficult to approach people and have a conversation with them,” she says. And so she did what she knew best: she sketched. Neethi scribbled notes and illustrations to describe her thoughts during encounters with strangers.
From this grew a satirical and self-deprecating online series — called The Socially Awkward Adult — where she bares with the public her anxiety and awkwardness in social situations through a series of GIFs that feature a woman in a red tunic and a topknot.
The outsider
In ‘The Anxiety,’ where she is contemplating whether to say ‘hello,’ her purple heart beats wildly. In ‘The Arrival’, she is standing apart from groups of people at a party, the outsider. The caption says it all: ‘I arrive at any gathering with unparalleled optimism, which I gulp down with the first bottle of soda. It probably takes me ten more minutes before I can drag the definition of wallflower to a whole new level.’
She tells me how it all started. Last December, Neethi bagged an opportunity to explore Madhya Pradesh as part of a week-long tourism project. The job required her to talk to local residents about their culture and heritage. Unsure of how she would break the ice, she turned to the tools of her trade: she pulled out her sketchbook and asked people to draw anything they wanted. The experiment worked like a charm, and she used the drawings to strike up conversations with strangers.
Why GIFs?
Neethi is brutally honest about herself. As a freelancer for the past few years, where most of her interactions with people were online, she had developed a “shield” to not meet people. “But it made me feel very solo as I was doing all my work at home in a quiet corner,” she tells me.
A graduate in textile design from the National Institute of Fashion Technology, Kannur, Neethi attempted stints with several textile designing firms before she shifted to graphic design and communication. Neethi’s GIFs — of blinking eyes, tapping feet, beating heart — have resonated with several people online.
Why GIFs? “At social gatherings I find I am very quiet or make a complete fool of myself. I tap my feet excessively or blink. “Every brave new interaction goes the same way — uneasiness, sweat and silent tears rolling down the cheeks.” The trauma of the socially awkward.
Neethi decided to turn this into a narrative and add her voice to it. “I was initially unsure if I should post it or make it public, as I was not sure if people would get my point. But so many people messaged me to say they liked it and could relate to it. It was good to connect over awkwardness,” she says.
Neethi recently joined a private company as part of its arts and graphic team. She sits in an office space where hundreds of people are frantically looking into their laptops or are in a huddle inside meeting rooms or making presentations. She sits in a quiet corner. “I am slowly trying to get accustomed to the office setting. But now when I have an awkward moment, I have a pass. I just tell people to look up my series,” she says.
