How do I know that I am unfit? Earlier this week, I failed to fall down properly.
This is not a trick statement: I literally, deliberately tried to fall off a wall, and did it wrong. “You need to keep your hands up (in front or above, depending on what angle you are falling at) and fall right on your back. If your elbow hits the ground first, you might end up twisting it,” said Sam.
Before you get alarmed, please note that Samuel Vinoth Kumar is a former student of the Himalayan Mountaineering Institute, Darjeeling, and bouldering instructor at Fit Rock Arena in Mandaveli. The “ground” he was speaking about is a foam mattress. And the instructions he was giving out are not tips on how to brace yourself when actually falling, but rather his gallant attempt at making an embarrassing situation less so, for me.
Apparently, instead of clambering back down the wall they just scaled, some people — children, I assume — prefer letting go of the not-so-high bouldering wall and landing freely on the soft mattress. They find it fun, he said.
Well, Sam, such people also voluntarily climb up a rocky wall for fun. I am not such people, so that information doesn’t really help me. Neither does the fact that bouldering itself — as a variant of rock climbing — is an activity preferred by children. And the softer sort of city folk “trying out something new on the weekend”. Shyam Sundar, founder of Fitrock Arena, added as if in mollification, “I prefer bouldering, it’s more relaxed and fun. That wall is 12-feet high. On the other hand, our rock climbing wall in Pallikaranai (the first Fitrock Arena, founded by Shyam and mountaineer Sathyanarayan Prasad in 2016) is 35-feet high and frequented by the mountaineering and crossfit types. These are our committed members, who take the sport seriously.”
The difference between bouldering and rock climbing is basically in the height of the climbing surface, which makes the latter more physically challenging and necessitates the use of harnesses and safety equipment. But that doesn’t mean bouldering is a piece of cake. If you don’t believe me, ask the three poor souls who had to watch me labour my way up a wall in Mandaveli.
Being spidey
To be fair, I didn’t puff and pant too much, and managed to find the right shape and crevice to give my hands and feet a hold without people having to shout out instructions from down below. But when I reached the top, I suddenly realised where exactly I was. Twelve feet away from solid ground, attached like a spider to a sheer vertical wall, with nothing but smooth little chunks of plastic sticking out of the straight wall to hold on to. Climbing down would involve lowering my foot onto one of the multicoloured little shapes. That would involve me looking down. That was something I refused to do. Tip: you might find twisting slightly to peer down a wall, while clinging for dear life to the same wall, daunting — but believe me, it’s better than blindly moving your foot away from a secure hold and thrashing it about in thin air. I did so multiple times, and managed to lower myself a step or two before freezing in fear again (please note that that the ground was close enough to just skip to).
To his credit, Sam did try to help. He tried to tell me how to balance my weight, to not lean too much on my hands. But more importantly, he got me halfway down and convinced me to just let go.
“Push away from the wall, and fall backwards on the foam,” he said. “And keep your hands like this,” he added, folding his own in front of him like Michael Jackson did when dancing with zombies in ‘Thriller’. It sounded simple enough, so I gave it a shot. And failed spectacularly.
As I sat forlorn on the mattress, Sam helpfully decided to demonstrate. The climbing, not the falling. At first step, he was off, clambering effortlessly to the top before shimmying sideways to the adjacent wall like a lizard, then moving down yet another wall, and back up the next. By the time he was done, I was convinced he belonged to a different species altogether.
And then he gave me a few more words of advice — “Keep your hips close to the wall, and your weight on your feet. It’s also a good idea to stretch and warm up before you start climbing.” Maybe he was hoping, in true trainer spirit, that I would give it another shot. High hopes, Sam.
Fit Rock’s bouldering arena is located at 73, Venkatakrishna Road, RA Puram. Call 9962357035.
In this column, we hunt for adrenaline-filled activities
in and around Chennai
