It is not the pain of the disease or the drastic weight loss of the wallet that worries a patient the most. It is indeed the behaviour of some of the people who visit that the patient dreads to the core.
To them visiting a patient is an occasion to celebrate. Hospital visits are clubbed as a part of entertainment along with a dinner or movie. Though the visitors may pretend that they are despondent and dazed, their never lying children usually let the cat out of the bag by saying something like “Pa! Let's go! The movie may start!”
Though they come to console the sick, their numero uno agenda will be to make the patient panic-stricken. Statements like “Our Ramasamy also had similar fever but proved to be terminal tuberculosis” or “This doctor made my uncle pauper” are thrown in casually.
It is also an occasion to show that they do care. They might not have even shown a glass of water to the patient when the latter was healthy. But now they would ask the doctor whether badam kheer or apple juice can be given to the patient. They might have not seen the patient's face for decades. But they will be the one to argue with the ICU staff to let them have at least a glimpse of him.
They are the ones who tell the doctor “Never mind the cost doctor! We want cure. That's all!” But at the time of clearing the hospital bill they will be as invisible as post-poll politicians.
Of course, it is the time to show their medical knowledge. The visit is never complete unless the X-ray and CT scan films, about which even the doctor is not sure, are thoroughly inspected and given an opinion like “There is an unusual black hole in the chest”. Or, they diagnose some deadliest disease about which they have learned in a bit of a newspaper while waiting in a saloon.
Along with parched oranges and anhydrous apples, visitors also bring a bagful of advices which are equally unpalatable. The advice may be as simple as to avoid all white substances like rice, salt, sugar, milk etc. Or it may be a piece of jargonistic aphorisms like “A custard apple a day keeps the cardiologist away!” It may be an invented intervention like if you use the sieve properly you will never get a kidney stone.
My former professor had a technique to get rid off pseudo visitors. He used to enquire the blood group of the person and ask him to be ready to donate a bottle. His face would turn bloodless and pale and he would, of course, flee the territory once and for all.
There are ones who really help the sick. There is a hymn in Thirukkural (796) which means ‘The benefit of misfortune is that there is no better scale to measure our kinsmen'. It applies to sickness too.
(The writer is a consultant psychiatrist and his email is: ramsych2@gmail.com)
