The best thing about summers is (no, it’s not holidays, mangoes, ice creams or IPL) sitting on the couch and listening to your mother’s ranting about how lazy you are, and your cheeks that have become chubby. Get the feeling? I’m glad! So I was lazily browsing through TV when my mom snatched the ice cream I was holding and replaced it with a glass of lemonade.
“Lemonade is a great source of Vitamin C and one cup of the juice gives you 187% of the day’s total vitamin C requirement and kills toxins.”
Woah! When did my mother become a nutritionist? Thanks to those forwarded WhatsApp messages .
“You know what?” my mother started off. “When life gives you lemons, make a lemonade. So the positive approach is very important in life and in anything. Now you have put on a little weight, but it doesn’t matter. Go for a jog or a run. Eat and drink only the healthy stuff.”
“Yeah,” I said, and secretly wondered why life would give us lemons. I mean, why can’t it just give us solutions to our problems? Before my mother could turn the conversation into a philosophical, motivating and inspiring lecture, I ran out of the house in my running shoes and I could tell she was pretty impressed, because I was becoming health-conscious.
The run
So, I decided to do some decent running. I reached the colony park and saw some 50-year-old aunties doing excited breathing. Yoga. Old uncles jogged all along the way. Health. Great! Perfect atmosphere, just that everyone here was approximately 30 years older to me. But never mind.
Then the aunties surrounded me and started doing typical aunty ji stuff, pulling cheeks, patting my head.
Okay, this is a bad place. So, I decided to hit the road.
I was busy jogging when I spotted Moti, the harasser, and turned back before he could spot me. But too late: he had already seen me and was running behind me.
“Rrrrrrarckk!,”he barked. Basically Moti’s thing in life is to bite my leg at least once and make me get 16 rabies injections. That stupid thing is our colony street dog and is extremely disgusting with black fur and red eyes. I ran till I was out of breath and stopped for a while and realised it was still chasing me.
With double the speed I reached home and shut the door behind me. Dump health-conscious. Dump losing fat. Dump running and jogging. And dump all the fitness trash talk. Just relax on the couch at home, watch TV and eat two cups of ice cream. And do not go to parks for a walk or jog on the roads.
And one more thing. If ever life gave you lemons, make lemonades with half of them and burn toxins or whatever. And the remaining half? Just throw them on all those annoying people and stupid street dogs.
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