Retirement from regular work is an almost universally dreaded phase, more so for high officials and executives. Financial and health problems crop up for most people at this age. Then there are emotional issues to cope with.
However, there can be certain retirement perks, provided you have some skills. These perks may not be comparable to the official perks, foreign trips, festival hampers, invitations to embassy cocktail parties and the numerous others benefits you enjoyed.
Now you are a home bird. Your home is dominated by your sons and daughters. Your wife may find it odd to see her husband spending his time at home reading newspapers and novels and doing crossword puzzles. In addition, he listens to the radio and watches television regularly. You can see him applying all kinds of oils and balms on his limbs to relieve pain.
When you were at work, your wife ruled the household. Now she has been dethroned, handing over domestic affairs to you. She thinks, but never articulates in so many words, that you shouldn’t have retired!
Lonely phase
On your part, you feel lonely, neglected and discarded by everybody. Nobody respects you because you have no official position. Nobody comes to see you or consult you. Your relatives and friends do not even telephone you. You feel lost in your own world. Past memories come flashing whenever you wear your thinking cap. They seem to be your only possessions.
One consolation is that now you are your own master. There is no one to direct your activities. You don’t have to get up early in the morning and rush to office to beat deadlines. How many times have you missed the bus or train and gone to office late and faced a pay cut? But now you can heave a sigh of relief. You have been freed from slavery and the drudgery of working for another.
However, some things are unwelcome. You check your bank balance every now and then. The figures remain the same except the small interest you get. Sometimes, your children bring something for you to eat. They hardly give you money, thinking that you have saved millions.
Every day, you look out of the window only to see young men and women rushing to their workplaces in a continuous stream. Their faces are brimming with happiness. For a moment, you think of your own days when you loved to work almost every day, even on holidays. Some of your colleagues called you a workaholic and you took it as a compliment.
Gifts and praise
At the send-off party, you were showered with gifts and praise. Now those gifts, carefully displayed in glass cabinets, are gathering dust. One consolation is that now you do not have to break your rest. You can have eight hours of sleep, or even more.
There is no heaviness of the head or heart. The whole day is yours to do what you like.
You can have a late breakfast or lunch. Dinner, however, has to be taken on time. Otherwise, your wife will grumble. When you visit your children and grandchildren, they may not be at home. Most of them are out attending private tuition classes. Sometimes, you wish to see your old friends, but your wife warns you to be careful when travelling. She treats you like a child.
Still young
Most adults like you who are over 60 feel that they are at least 10 years younger. According to a national survey conducted in the United States, old age begins at 68. However, some senior citizens like you tend to believe that old age really begins at 75!
You have heard of chronological age, physiological age, cognitive age and psychological age. As a rule of thumb, anybody over 100 is really old. If you are between 65 and 100, you belong to the mid-old age. Middle age begins at 35 or 40 and runs till 60 or 65. Such figures have no meaning if you are fit as a fiddle — physically and mentally.
The younger generation treats old men and women like you as an unwanted burden. Old people are often overwhelmed by a vision of loneliness and a terrible feeling of redundancy. The picture becomes all the more bleak with failing health and illness. A sense of despair often descends over pleasant feelings. Indeed, loneliness and neglect are associated with old age. It is a recent phenomenon.
It is the outcome of the break-up of the traditional joint family system. Growing urbanisation and fast-paced lifestyles have aggravated the situation. Earlier, old people were respected in society and in their families for their advice. They guided the younger generation. The situation has undergone a sea change.
In extreme old age, you need someone to help when you become physically and mentally infirm. What is more, you get a feeling of emotional insecurity. In this materialist society, nobody, not even your own children, have time for you. It is a tragedy.
Even with such problems, there is no cause for you to press the panic button. To know how to grow old gracefully is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. John G. Diefenbaker (1895-1979), a Canadian statesman, when approaching his 80th birthday said, “While there’s snow on the roof, it doesn’t mean the fire has gone out in the furnace.” You can also draw inspiration from writer W. Somerset Maugham who said, “The greatest compensation of old age is its freedom of spirit, the other compensation is that it liberates you from envy, hatred, and malice.”
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