What women don’t talk about



Science has failed to figure out how women communicate, which is why it’s turned to figuring out outer space – so much simpler. Much like whales (and that’s where our comparison ends, thank you), we read each other’s signals from miles away, especially the things that aren’t said.

Hi! I called because I couldn’t wait to tell you something.

Me too.

Same energy fields. Like that movie, what’s it called?

I know, with that actress, you know, with a K. Or V. Or M.

Exactly! Doesn’t she remind you of the one in that web series?

Ditto! Same eyebrows! Also, remind me to tell you about this other web series. Super, except during those adult scenes, I keep coughing and sending the kid to get me water. I drink a tank in each episode.

Be careful! Water retention causes kidney damage. Are your ankles swollen?

No, why? Are yours? I thought water was good. Can’t believe anything you hear nowadays.

All frauds! Forget it. Talking of forgetting, there’s this memory tonic that works brilliantly. I’ve been having it for months. Now, what was I going to say?

What? Have you seen the news? The situation in –

I know. This Non-profit is collecting blankets.

For whales? Talking of whales, remember Alpa? Guess what she told me the other day?

Is it what I told you, remember, on the day that – you know – that thing happened?

How embarrassing that thing was for them, really!

Okay, now you must go back to your office call.

How did you know? And you must go back to – let’s see – searching for something?

My spectacles. I was doing just that.

Checked in the loo? The loo reminds me, we were going to join whatshername’s yoga class.

Oh, that’s all fraud! Mili sent me JLo’s fitness tips. Does she look 53?

Mili or JLo? You must look closely at her neck. Dead giveaway.

Dead reminds me of where my specs are. Thanks. Bye! So few people who can have really deep conversations nowadays.

We are a dying breed. Call me soon to tell me what you were calling me about.

Where Jane De Suza, the author of ‘Happily Never After’, talks about the week’s quirks, quacks and hacks

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Printable version | May 27, 2022 12:10:16 pm |