Letter from a concerned reader Opinion

Mr. Mathrubootham is back with a bang

Respected Madam/ Sir,

Surprise! Surprise! Pleasant surprise! Mr. Mathrubootham has returned like MGR with new audio in superhit film Kaavalkaran. Whether people in your esteemed office are already running away shouting old man has returned, escape escape!? One hundred percent this is the truth. Don’t put lies morning itself. All editors in India are lying worse than Charles Sobhraj. You also please don’t start ok? Ok.

Last one month what happened to Mr. Mathrubootham? Has he vanished from face of the earth? Whether he has shifted to overseas? Maybe he has joined Madras underworld? Wrong wrong, thousand times wrong.

Suddenly one story is coming to mind. Shall I tell? I will tell. This is very old story. Back during Bank of India days when I was manager in Periyakottai branch. Or maybe Alapatti branch? Memory is going. So, I am sitting in the manager cabin and enjoying executive experience. Just two-three months after promotion. Nice luxury feeling. Ceiling fan is working. Two-three nice paperweights on table. One money-plant type plant in the corner. Chair means with cushion and all. Every five minutes peon coming to ask manager you want anything saar? I will say nothing nothing. After five minutes again he will come and ask. I will say no thanks. After two-three weeks I told him if he steps inside my office again I will throw paperweight what nonsense is this? Manager cabin or Guruvayoor temple for people to come and go anytime?

Suddenly one day one man is walking quickly into branch and coming directly to my cabin. I said, excuse me, what is the matter. He said, sir, myself local industrialist, planning to build big house. Whether any house loan is available? I said, welcome sir, you are in Bank of India branch, relax and enjoy. We are giving house loan like vegetable shop is giving sambar vegetables. You please give me all details. He sat for 45 minutes and gave full details of family, business, education, house plan and elevation, number of bedrooms, etc. I thought shabaash Mathrubootham, you will easily meet monthly target with this customer.

In between ennamo noises are coming from outside market. I said, sir, let me go and check. He said, excuse me, I am a busy businessman, no time to see market circus. You please give loan details. Then, while I am telling interest rate, he suddenly stood up and said, very good, Bank of India is my final choice. My office will contact in two-three days. He took my visiting card and left.

Ten minutes later another visitor is in my cabin. It is SI from local police station. What happened I asked? He said someone has stolen necklace from nearby jewellery shop and run off. Did you see one man? I said, what man? He said, man is wearing blue check shirt. I said, one businessman came wearing blue check shirt, but he was businessman. He said, thief is wearing green pants. I said, businessman is also wearing green pants but must be coincidence. Then SI said, he is carrying one manja pai, necklace is inside. I said, businessman is also carrying one manja pai. SI said bloody fool, whether any businessman will carry manja pai? I said, thank you for information, but man left just 10 minutes ago. SI got very angry. I said, sir please sit and relax, shall I get tea and bajji? He said, ok.

Madam/ Sir, this is one and only interaction between Mr. Mathrubootham and underworld.

But I forgot to tell main story. What happened for one month? For one month we are staying in neighbour Dr. Shankaramenon’s flat. Poor fellow is getting middle of the night heart trouble. Whether children can come from abroad? Never. Because of Corona. So both of us decided to take care of old friend.

Madam/ sir, what and all adventure happened in Dr. Shankaramenon’s house. I will write in next letter ok? Ok.

Yours in criminal conspiracy,

J. Mathrubootham

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Printable version | Jun 25, 2021 4:30:54 AM | https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/back-with-a-bang/article32352063.ece

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