A young woman walked into my office with a furrowed brow, clearly worried about something. Expecting a question about a difficult chapter or anxiety over a deadline, I asked, “What’s wrong? Can I help you?”
“I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life, ma’am!” she said.
That was a big one. But I waited a moment instead of jumping to reassure her with the usual cushiony phrases that we are accustomed to using when faced with life’s basic conundrums.
She continued: “I don’t know what I want, really… is it okay for me to be so confused… and clueless? Everyone else seems so clear…”
It is getting close to that time of year, when students in the final months of their degree programmes start to look at the future with mixed feelings. Those who have already been through the placement process know where they will be at the end of this phase. Some others have decided about their next steps — another degree or course, a break, travel, family time — and a few have had the decision made for them by parents or constrained by circumstances.
If you are graduating with a professional degree, you are somewhat luckier than others; your education generally aims at taking you to a specific place, entry to which is determined by a specific set of skills that you should have gained in college. But if you are in a general degree programme (liberal arts, science, commerce), high on academic knowledge but relatively low on skill building (in the way we define it in the job market), you could be left wondering what exactly your degree has prepared you for — unless, like some of my students’ peers, you are one of those who have a very clear idea about what you want to do with your life.
Life’s goals
I think there’s something we need to get clear, though. Life goals are not necessarily the same as employment goals. Or even professional goals. We put too much pressure on ourselves when we expect to have our life’s mission sorted out by the time we are twentytwo. Yes, there are those charmed individuals who seem to have their life plan charted out to a T even before they write their first examination. And there are others, equally charmed, who can sail through life from one experience to the next, happy to take things as they come and not worrying about these big shaky questions.
Finding out what we really want to do may take more than a few years of college, for most of us. In fact, when we leave college, we are only beginning to discover ourselves; yet we are expected to make major life choices, commitments that will firmly place us in one field or another. It may be a good idea to take a deep breath — or two — and sort out these questions for ourselves without feeling like we have to have all the answers right away. There are some things that have to be done immediately — for instance, getting a job, or deciding about higher studies. The job doesn’t have to be your life’s work; it is just the first step in learning how the world runs, and trying out your role in it.
The only difference between the worried young woman in my office and her peers who seemed to have worked it all out was this: they weren’t consumed by the question of meaning, and were focused on what to do to keep going in the immediate future.
In other words, you don’t have to figure out your life’s mission the moment you get out of college. There’s nothing wrong with trying a few things, learning a few things outside the structure of a degree, and discovering what makes you tick. And in the process of doing that, you might discover what you really want — and like — to do.
The author teaches at the University of Hyderabad and edits Teacher Plus. usha.bpgll@gmail.com
