Dear Careless Pedestrian,
This is in reply to your letter, published on June 29, Open Page. Though you call yourself an ‘Innocent Pedestrian’, I wish to address you as ‘Careless Pedestrian’, since I believe your self-proclaimed innocence is but a pretence to mask your carelessness.
I’m happy you’ve taken note of my SUV. It is for this very purpose, that is, for all you hapless bipeds to notice me, that I own and drive this beauty, even though I can make do with a vehicle that guzzles less fuel. I’m sure, the very sight of my little angel tearing down the road makes you think of your Maker.
You are puzzled how I manage to almost knock you down, when you walk only when your light is green and mine red. You forget, on seeing red, my SUV gets meaner than the bull that is shown the red rag. Nico would never race on an Indian road because no Indian road is worthy of the great man or his machine; but the SUVs are built to treat every Indian road, a race track.
And, you threaten me with police cases and lawsuits, in case I have a brush with you. Mr. Pedestrian, between you and my SUV, you are always the loser. A few thousands to a good mechanic, and my girl will be more beautiful than ever. But, how much will it cost you to get out of the hospital in one piece? And, so long as I have the licence to kill (drive), the maximum punishment for negligent driving is seven years in the cooler, but for you Mr. Pedestrian, God forbid, in case of head/spinal injury, it could be a case of life-long imprisonment of the soul in a listless body. So, whatever you think of me and my mean machine, you had better take extra care to get out of her way — always.
Though it is not my wont to advise careless people, you Mr. Careless Pedestrian and your ilk would do well to give some respect to all the two/three/four/multi-wheeled machines on the road. Walk only on the footpaths where available, and only on the right side of the road elsewhere. Cross only at zebra-crossings and only when the signals tell you to do so. Walking with children, hold them firmly by hand and on your side away from the vehicles. Avoid jay-walking. Never blindly overtake/cross a parked vehicle; look for other oncoming vehicles which you can’t see around the parked vehicle. Never walk across, close to a vehicle; you never know when it will take off. On morning walks and at night, wear light-coloured clothes; dark clothes merge with the shadows and are not easily distinguished. Be responsible for your own safety; do not put your life and limb in peril.
Proud SUV owner