Of late, names of more and more roads are being changed. >Aurangzeb Road in Delhi becoming Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam Road is one instance. More such changes are on the anvil, something that has more to do with the present mindset than history.
The change of names has widened the rift between the government and the Opposition, with one side talking of why the change is required and the other why it is not.
I feel that the government and the Opposition should not be at loggerheads, at least on account of this issue, as I have a solution to this vexatious problem.
Let me give you a simple example.
If a road is named, say, after A, the road humps can be named after B and the potholes after C. That way, no one is left behind. In case of multiple humps, they can be named B Hump 1, B Hump 2, and so on. There is no dearth of humps and they will only grow in size and number, keeping the person happy for a long time. So is the case with potholes.
Giving directions will become easy. Please take A Road, jump over B Hump 4, take the left turn into X Road and the shop opposite C pothole 7 is your destination.
Knowing what we Indians are capable of fighting over, I am sure this will stoke the fire further. Many names are bound to be left out. I think there is a simple solution for that too.
I suggest that we start naming the dustbins after whoever feels left out. All one has to do is to apply to the local municipality. Of course, the decision shall be taken after due deliberations in the Lok Sabha. And we have a dual benefit here. If there are more names coming up, the government is forced to add more dustbins. While the naming problems are solved, roadsides get more dustbins.
If naming the dustbins are demeaning to the stature of the person, entire garbage dumps can be named after the person. With the garbage volumes growing by the day, the splendour of the name shall remain for years to come. In fact, they can stake claim to the fame of the dumps being visible from space when they catch fire.
In a television programme, one of the panellists suggested that each side of a road can be named differently so that both sides are happy. You go by a road with one name and come back by the same road with a different name. It is a shame that no one thought of this even after 68 years of Independence. We have to take this brilliant idea further.
No abbreviations Recently, during a name-changing ceremony (soon there could be a ministry for that), a Chief Minister insisted that the changed name should not be abbreviated.
Along with the names, there should be a narration, right below the name board, explaining why that place deserved to be named after that person. Let us hope the government does not forget to include the criminal cases, the scam amounts (nearest to hundred crores should do) and the deeds of the near and dear ones of those memorialised.
govindarajanp@gmail.com
