Radha and Deva kick around furiously in the air and pull their own hair even as a police officer intently stares at them, trying to decipher what they are trying to convey.
A minute later, the couple’s parents intervene and explain to the officer that the duo is complaining about the frequent domestic fights between them.
Still in their early twenties, Radha and Deva were born mute. They fell in love around a year ago and married, but soon found themselves bickering, quarrelling and fighting with each other all the time. Their fights landed them at the office of Special Police Unit for Women and Children (SPUWAC). They wanted to separate.
“Who else will understand your needs if not for your partner? Do you really want to separate? You will not get to see each other ever again. Decide and tell me your final decision,” the officer tells the couple, looking into their tearful eyes one after the other.
The couple nods, indicating they are willing to live amicably, immediately eliciting pats on their backs from the officer. It took all of 10 minutes.
“I think this is the quickest and easiest I have managed to convince an estranged couple to reconcile,” the officer says after the couple has left.
A chance to talk
Otherwise, SPUWAC and other women’s cells in the city have a tough job of negotiating reconciliation between couples or ensuring they separate amicably. “We are able to reconcile couples in around one-third of all cases received by us. Since there is little tolerance between couples now, this is a figure to feel proud of,” says Varsha Sharma, DCP (SPUWAC).
Almost all married couples who approach the police to separate are routed to the city’s many women’s cells, the head office of which is SPUWAC. In cases of excessive physical violence, an FIR is registered.
The priority of officers at these women’s cells is to not let matters reach the FIR stage. The priority, instead, is to look for avenues for reconciliation, and if all that fails, a separation on amicable terms without spending on courts or lawyers.
So, when a couple arrives at any of these cells, they are first called for several rounds of counselling by women police officers and professional counsellors hired from Tata Institute of Social Sciences (TISS).
“We promise full confidentiality. Since the parents of the couples are often seen as the parties aggravating the conflict, in most cases we keep them out during the counselling process. Our first aim is to save a family,” says Anuradha Chhabra, an inspector at SPUWAC.
Often, the counsellors’ approach may come across as biased in favour of the women as they are quick to jump to conclusions against the male partners or threaten the registration of a FIR against them, but the counsellors say they are only trying to keep the more aggressive party in check.
The counsellors employ a variety of techniques, from emotionally-charged statements to frightening examples of other couples who have separated.
When all else fails
The aim, counsellors say, is to explore if there is any possibility of the couple benefiting by staying with each other.
“No happy person would want to visit us. But we know from experience that many couples seek divorce during a spur of the moment. We immediately gauge the situation in the case of most couples and if we feel that the decision was taken in the heat of the moment, we put in special efforts to bring them back together,” says a counsellor from TISS.
But when several rounds of counselling fail and a couple is determined to separate, they are sent to mediators - serving or retired lawyers and judges, civil servants, etc. Arranged by the Delhi High Court Legal services Committee, the service offered is free of cost.
The mediators work out the terms for separation. “We try to convince the couples to agree to one-time settlement so that there is no trouble for either of them in the future. Our service ensures they do not have to pay lawyers or repeatedly visit courts to secure a divorce,” says a High Court lawyer, serving as a mediator at SPUWAC.
The last resort is the registration of a FIR against either of the two parties, in most cases the man. “If any party is not convinced with the efforts of the counsellors or mediators and want to pursue a criminal case against their partner, we register a case and begin a probe. But some cases are not pursued for long since the complainants often change their mind and withdraw the charges,” says Alka Azad, an SHO at SPUWAC.
—Names of couples changed
We are able to reconcile couples in around one-third of cases. Since there is little tolerance between couples now, this is a figure to feel proud of
Varsha Sharma,DCP (SPUWAC)
First, counsellors try to convince couples to reconciliate; if that fails, they ask the couples to separate amicably
