Those last two months of the year are traditionally my ‘Blue Period’. It is something to do about being at the fag end of a year, I think. The hope and sense of purpose that marked its beginning has run out, and you are left having to power through, armed with nothing but a vague sense of ennui. In retrospect, I realise that I’ve quit most of my jobs and walked away from all the people I once loved, around this time.
It is also much colder then, and if you are in Chennai, much wetter, so sticking to an exercise routine becomes almost impossible. Tendrils of light and warmth stop creeping into your bedroom at dawn, propelling you out of bed and into the gym. Instead, you think of the slushy roads you will have to battle, and are loath to get out of bed. And that means goodbye to exercise-generated happy hormones.
The change in weather also means that a rash of colds and fevers and coughs are not far away. There will be plenty of sniffling at work. Also additional stress, since a fair number of your colleagues, are on sick leave (or holidaying) and there is less sharing of responsibility.
I’ve been feeling all of this right now. My sleep is off, I’ve barely exercised; my nose isn’t running, it’s sprinting; and I’ve been sleepwalking through work (and life).
Apparently, however, it is rather normal. A quick Google search threw up some interesting facts. An article by Time magazine pointed out that, according to Internet behaviour, our depression spikes reliably in mid-November every year. While admittedly, Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD, a mood disorder triggered by change in season, is mostly a temperate phenomenon, I do think us tropical folks aren’t wholly immune.
Carbohydrate cravings, messed up sleep patterns, irritability, stress, fatigue and overarching grumpiness are the typical symptoms, they say. And while the exact cause is not clear, it is believed that the amount of sunlight affects the way the nerve messages reach the brain, which in turn affects the level of substances like serotonin and melatonin, that regulate your sense of happiness and sleep patterns respectively.
It doesn’t help, of course, that the end of the year, at least for me, is a time of intense self-reflection, which often ends up being an exercise in self-flagellation.
You know those conversations you had in the beginning of the year: I will lose 10 kilos; I will write my first book; I will travel every three months... you suddenly realise that they’ve all gone to pot and you’re pretty much at the same place you were last year, with a few more scars and memories.
Getting into bed at 8 pm and vegetating with a book — my current coping mechanism — is all wrong, say all the medical websites. I should be going out more, both to socialise and to get some much-needed sunlight. And no, I should not be going off exercise, promising myself, I will start again next year. Regular exercise, especially cardio, can improve sleeping patterns, boost self-esteem and enhance the brain’s production of feel-good chemicals. Also, those late night biscuit binges have to go; I should be eating oily fish and walnuts instead. More importantly, I need to remember, as Bridget Jones once said, “It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth or power but the pursuit of attainable goals.”
