The good thing about horror flicks is that the make-up won't cost you a bomb. Get the cheapest and worst make-up artist in town. The more she messes up with the foundation and eye shadow, the better. Ever seen spirits with perfect eye and lip liners! As for the outfit, do keep with what's in. Replace the age-old chiffon white sari with a white body hugging designer gown. Hair doesn't need much styling as it's mostly left loose. Just ensure it's conditioned well so it blows freely in the wind. This will also work well for those compulsory shots where she flits past camera frames.

There has to be blood in almost every shot, especially if it's centred on zombies and ghouls. So invest in red paint or ketchup, preferably in bulk, so you could even get a discount.

It helps to have a helpless, accident prone character as the leading lady. She has to do just what she's ordered not to do. Little miss klutz must accidentally set free an evil spirit that had been trapped for centuries. And as the spirit chases her, our heroine must run through misty forests in six inch stilettos, her designer gown entangled in shrubs, only to run into the arms of the muscular hero. Oh and if the hero and heroines have side-kicks accompanying them get them killed in the order of their popularity.

Having a hot hero is essential because his good looks and sculpted body will help turn the evil apparition's attention away from the heroine. And while she checks him out and tries to make him fall for her, the leading lady can race to the nearest exorcist (a mysterious old man with a monkey cap residing in the forest all by himself) for help.

Alright, so the exorcist, and lead couple have tried everything right from pushing the evil one off a cliff to drowning her in the sea, to shooting and bombing her. Nothing works. That's when you introduce a new formula — the power of love. The actor sings a mush-filled song and all the mushiness turns the spirit into ash. Stick to vague endings like these. You can't completely get rid off the evil one. How else do you plan to come up with mind-numbing sequels?

Even if the plot is inane, don't fret. Throw in lots of sound effects. Blood curdling screams and loud drum sounds add to the eeriness. And if all else fails, make it a 3D film! Hopefully, flinging zombie body parts in their direction should make the audience scream.

Keywords: horror films