The mainstream Hindi cinema audience will watch anything. But still, here’s how to make a Race sequel.

1. Casting: Line up A-list actors who look good with minimal costumes and fancy sunglasses. Raise the bar for glamour but lower it enough to titillate. Please note that they shouldn’t be able to act. Because if they can act, you will be able to read their intentions for the next scene. So even if they can act, do put a clause in your contract that assures you that no acting muscle will be employed. Only muscle.

2. Scripting: Use this flowchart to flesh out the script.

Introduce the three leads A, B and C and their love interest one by one, with an example of the con they are capable of pulling. Bluffing/Losing to win/Spying/Cheating/Killing.

Introduce A, B and C to each other.

From this point, we arrive at an indefinite loop in the flowchart that helps us to end the film wherever we want and set it up for the sequel. The loop goes thus:

A: I have a plan. We con X (X keeps changing).

B: Cool. Shake hands.

C: Yummy! *Insert fruit based innuendo*

Insert random Pritam Song where A, B and C are seen with the girls D, E and F, followed by an action set piece inspired from any random Hollywood action film. Pick any DVD. Take your pick. Car with a bomb that will go off when it loses speed/heist to steal an expensive artefact from a world famous museum/cheating at the casino.

Mind games should be unveiled in this order:

A: I know

B: I know he knows.

C: Awesome *Insert Fruit based innuendo*

A: I know he knows I know.

B: I know he knows I know more.

C: Yummy *Insert Fruit based innuendo*

Continue this loop till climax as D and E keep changing their loyalties between A and B to keep us guessing and F continues to dress up as fruit.

3. Music: Remix the old chartbuster and add unused songs from the previous film and shoot them as music videos.

4: Suspension of disbelief: Given that Race has demonstrated that logic is overrated, you can randomly incorporate any gravity-defying science fiction into the narrative. Like a helicopter that can lift a train compartment/a car that can fly/ glasses that can read the opponent’s card at a casino and automatically change your cards out of thin air/a car that can randomly gatecrash into a plane at an undisclosed altitude! Yeah, nothing is ridiculous. This is Race.

5. Bomb the theatres with so many prints and make people believe that this is the most anticipated film of the year.

That is how you finish a good con.

Race 2

Genre: Action

Director: Abbas-Mustaan

Cast: Saif Ali Khan, John Abraham, Anil Kapoor, Deepika Padukone, Jacqueline Fernandez, Amisha Patel

Storyline: The cunning Ranveer Singh takes the help of RD to settle scores with the man responsible for the death of his girlfriend

Bottomline: If Race spoofed the structure of Wild Things to ridiculous levels, Race 2 spoofs Race.