In a cramped room in T Nagar, a white sanitary napkin is passed around a circle of men.The group of men have gathered as a part of the ‘Men on Menstruation’ event, recently organised by NGO Dhagam in the city. The programme aims to break the taboo surrounding periods by creating a dialogue between men and women. The men aren’t here to talk about menstruation, but to listen and learn from the women.
Convenor of Dhagam, Govind Murugan, says, “This event is part of our initiative Aval, through which we increase awareness about women’s issues. I remember, in fifth grade, we constantly teased a girl who had gotten her period. That was because we didn’t understand it. Up until we started Aval, I only had a vague idea about what periods were.”
CHENNAI, 13/05/2018: For Metro Plus: Men, with help from women, will discuss the subject of menstruation, in order to remove stigma around the topic and increase awareness at Dhagam Academy of Arts & Education, T. Nagar on Sunday. Photo: R. Ragu
Govind is not alone; most of the men in the room confess to not understanding menstruation until much later in their lives: “Our school would always ignore that particular chapter”, “Girls were taught about it separately” and “Whatever we knew was half-knowledge exchanged between friends.”
Aval’s female coordinators explain to the men the biology behind menstruation through a diagram of the uterus and period flow apps. Apart from this, they also share stories of the first time they got their period and the forced shame surrounding it. “We had an all-white uniform in school, so stains became all the more embarrassing,” recalls Pauline Nisha. “I was in a girls’ school with just three male teachers. Still, for their sake, we were forced to cover our pads under layers of newspapers and stuff it out of sight.”
A key aspect of the discussion is educating the men on female reproductive health. “I never knew PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) was such a common problem among women,” says S Vijay Kumar, a businessman. Venkat Raman, another businessman and father of a 16-year-old girl, is particularly invested in the matter. The coordinators educate him on the healthy diet and lifestyle choices one should adopt in order to prevent PCOS. “For the first two years of puberty, the menstrual cycle is not regular, so you don’t need tablets,” Nisha assures a concerned Raman.
Next, Niveditha Venkatesan addresses menopause and the aftermaths of unnecessary hysterectomy. Participant Tamilarasan recalls how doctors tried to influence his mother into getting her uterus removed.
“After my mother turned 40, she started getting frequent uterine cramps and irregular cycles. Doctors, whom we consultedin Coimbatoresaid, ‘You already have two kids, you don’t need a uterus anymore’. Thankfully, she didn’t get the operation done and she’s fine.”
Most of the men in the room claim to now recognise the need to treat a woman on her period with sensitivity, keeping in mind the pain she is under. However, Nisha makes sure they draw a line between sensitivity and baseless assumptions. “There are men who walk around eggshells when a woman is on her period. Why? I’ve had over-protective men who ask me not to exert myself because I’m on my period — even when I’m feeling perfectly fit. You need to understand that a woman can make decisions about her body herself.”
Murugan hopes that honest advice like this cutting across gender barriers will help remove the cycle of ignorance and patriarchy.
