Who’s in your head?

Making sense of wide foreheads, squeaking lizards and lengths of skirts

June 11, 2021 12:41 pm | Updated 12:41 pm IST

Credit: Sreejith Ravikumar

Credit: Sreejith Ravikumar

You should never listen to what they say. At least, that’s what they say. To clarify, if you were to listen to what they say, then you’d not be listening to what they say. Clear now?

You’ve heard them say, for example, that wide foreheads signify great memories. Keep your hair on! They also say wide foreheads signify balding genes. Not to split hairs, but they say that great memories are not worth losing hair over because the next generations will just Google, and let their great memories go redundant. And to bring it all to a head, they even say appearances are deceptive. Which means that those who appear to have wide foreheads may not really have wide foreheads. Clearer now?

After a lifetime of listening to what they say, you will discover there are bunches of Theys who say deliberately contradictory things. As soon as you’re following one, the others say something diametrically opposite. They are all convinced they are right and they are wrong.

That leaves us, as they say, with no options at all. You definitely should not be listening to whether they say that lizard squeaks herald weddings or deaths, whether to turn (or vote) left or right; whether lengths of skirts are in the eyes of the beholder or not. You should really be listening only to yourself.

Now here is where it turns hairy. I say categorically that you shouldn’t care a toss about what they say. But since for you, I am one of They, if you listen to me, you could say that you shouldn’t listen to me. Then I’d say that you’re part of the They I’m advising against being listened to, in the first place. So you should really not be listening to you either.

And you don’t. This is the final truth. They are so much in your head that you now listen to what they say because you think it is what you think. What you say is exactly what they say, after all. And what I say is exactly what they say, as well. It’s just that your They and my They are different. And they say you and I should be, too. Are we really?

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