Munnam Avanudaiya Naamangkaettaall
Moorthi Avanirukkum Vannangkaettaall
Pinnai Avanudaiya Aaroor Kaettaall
Peyarthum Avanukke Pichi Aanaall
Annaiyaiyum Athanaiyum Andre Neethaall
Agandraall Agalidaththaar Aaachaarathai
Thannai Marandhaall Than Naamangkettaall
Thalaippattaall Nangai
Thalaivan Thaale
I don’t know how many times I have danced to Appar’s Tiruthandagam. The yearning of a soul, which is in search of its ultimate destination, is a poem close to my heart. The metaphor, at a superficial level, describes the state of a dancing girl, who falls desperately in love with Tyagesa of Tiruvarur. Stunned by his majesty and beauty, she asks her friend to describe him. From initial curiosity to complete surrender it is the journey of Jivatma and I never tire of portraying it. I lose myself in the process and become one with the Art.
A procession turns the mundane life of the dancer topsy-turvy. She asks her friend, “Hey, who is that handsome person — so majestic.” The friend exclaims: “You don’t know? I can’t reply in one word or sentence. Among the many names, he is also called Tyagesa.”
Where does he hail from?
“Oh again, the list would be too long. He is not confined to one place. But be satisfied with Arur (Tiruvarur).”
Describe him. Is he dark or fair?
“It is not easy to describe him. He is beyond words. He is both and reflects all colours.”
With each reply, the woman’s fascination grows and it is this figure that completely occupies her mind and heart. She cannot think of anything else. She smears herself with ash because she has just learnt that it is a favourite object of her new-found Beau, who has hypnotised her. She loves the smell. She cannot recognise her own mother nor her surroundings. She is in the midst of a transition — to a self-less state.
What could be this love if not madness? The worried mother is in tears. “What has happened to my daughter? How can I face the world,” she laments. But the girl is in a different realm, searching for her Tyagesa. Emerging briefly, she mumbles, “What is my name, can you tell me?”
Back in her world, she announces in ecstasy: “Ah, I faintly hear the boom of the Shankam and the Damaru’s beat. I smell the ash... so he is somewhere around and will come soon.”
“Wait!” she whispers. “How strange! I hear the sounds very close... in my heart... so he is not far away. He is here, within me!”
The discovery sends her to the height of exultation. The search has ended. The agony is over. She dances, the dance of Liberation. Then calm descends — she submits herself at the feet of her Lord. It is Peace... Internal and Eternal
