What do you look out for in the name of love? Self-love is majorly important. Professional sprinter Dutee Chand who came out has been vocal about self-love being a propellant for open honesty. But then what about love for the world? Tinder India’s survey asked this question with the response being, “70% of LGBTQ+ adults say it is important their date be involved in community issues. Outside of looks and personality, 51% say active involvement in LGBTQ+ organisations or causes is important to them.”
Anil Kumar, known for his work with Queer Campus Hyderabad, agrees. “Tinder, Grindr, PlanetRomeo and Instagram have become major pathways for LGBQTIA+ people. That being said, the 70% statistic about community involvement is a plus. Anyone in the larger community should be clued in on the issues in our society. That connection is a plus, for anyone. That connection eventually leads to meaningful relationships. In future, the other person in that relationship can open up and feel secure enough to be honest as a result. But then, there are people in relationships of any kind who may not want community issues to be a part of their relationship. So it can vary.”
Honesty is key
The survey cites that of the 61% who say they formally came out, 37% reportedly proclaimed their identity via social media. “Men were more likely than women to come out via social media (42% compared to 28%, respectively),” concludes Tinder India. Market research analyst Anjali Gangadhar* from Hyderabad says, “Years ago, I took the Kinsey scale (also known as the Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale) and I found I was a 2, which implied I have an attraction to women. I was actually one of the first users of Tinder when it came to India. Since then, the number of fake profiles have gone down. Girls and guys who look for girls to spice things up in the bedroom as a third party isn’t what I’m here for.” Now that’s something that should have been in the Tinder survey! Anjali shares she was in a relationship with someone for a year who eventually came out as bisexual and she helped spruce up his Tinder profile and meet new people too. For a digital platform, looks like things are pointing up if natural growth like this is happening!
Our primary worry is safety; safety around our deeply personal information or our physical safety when matches lead to real-time meetings. One of those fears became a reality when Kolkata-based Tinder user Ananya matched with a girl named Alisha who claimed she was lesbian. But the conversation took an ugly turn when ‘Alisha’ revealed herself to be a straight cis man pretending to be a bisexual girl to out women “for fun,” as he put it. He’d even used a young girl’s photo as the profile photo as part of his ruse. Ananya took to Twitter and shared the screenshots of her conversation and Tinder India instantly shut the account down. After all, the Internet is forever.
However, Sanskriti Aggarwal*, a 29-year-old research scholar from Visakhapatnam who identifies herself as a lesbian, says, “I am not sure if being behind the screen helps people in coming out, but it definitely gives them the power to fool around. There are too many fraud accounts. I was fooled twice on Tinder in Visakhapatnam. So genuinely, I did not find Tinder that good. I got off the app after using it for two months and moved on to other dating apps that felt more secure. There are apps in the market that allow you to put up qualities that you are looking for in your partner, and interests which the app matches with other individuals. This is much more helpful than blind swiping. Out of which a 98% match was with my current partner. We got in touch and it clicked! I am the happiest to have her in my life.”
* Names have been changed to protect identities
(With inputs from Aishwarya Upadhye)
