How much exercise is too much exercise? Scientists have grappled with this question. Here too, love is the answer. Specifically, love for yourself. How much do you love yourself? When you stand naked in front of the mirror, how closely do you look? When you close your eyes, can you visualise your abdomen? Can you name more than five of your muscles? Are you intimately familiar with the contours of your thighs? If so, no amount of exercise is too much for you. It enhances your physical beauty, and you get to spend time with your favorite person.
Personally, I would try to avoid you. In Delhi things can get violent very quickly, so it’s best keep some distance from the large ones. Of course, a quick knee to the groin can fell even the mightiest oak, but eventually the oak gets up again. It’s fair to assume that a large and muscular person, devoted to his or her body as a temple, would not have much love left for other people. I am not suggesting that all muscular people are psychopaths. I have muscular friends who are very good-natured. But the odds are not promising. If you’re not a people person, running is another option. However, your chances of overdoing this are quite high. The most common cases of exercise addiction are amongst runners. In case you run, and would like to know if you’re addicted, here’s a simple questionnaire:
Do you spend enough on shoes to feed a family of four?
If your wife were in labour, would you go for a run?
If you were in labour, would you go for a run?
Beyond a point, do you feel excruciating pain, which tells you that you’re alive?
At this point, do you keep running, until you feel even more excruciating pain?
If you answered yes to more than three of the above, you need to run less.
Of course, not all exercise involves loving yourself beyond reason. Other forms of exercise are more sociable, such as yoga, cycling and sex. Each of these can be both solitary and group activity. Due to a strict no-sex policy at The Hindu , we will not be discussing sex, and it would be anti-national to joke about yoga. This leaves us with cycling. Of all the available exercise options, cycling seems to be the safest, with a relatively low chance of addiction. Cycling has a built-in safeguard. While the helmets are cute and the shorts can be stylish, and you love the wind in your face, there’s only so much punishment that the human buttocks can withstand.
In Shovon Chowdhury's most recent novel, Murder With Bengali Characteristics, our hero, Inspector Li, is a boxer in a land of Kung Fu
