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Letter From A Concerned Reader | Who is doing pole vault?

Respected Madam/Sir,

Big news is there. Big news means breaking news. World famous in Anna Nagar. Months and months of discussions and negotiations and all are now finished. Yesterday one family discussion took place in the dining room. Mrs. Mathrubootham and myself and both sons. Working from home son, whether you are remembering him, came to the dining room. Abroad son who is actually doing useful job did Zoom call from United States.

Mrs. Mathrubootham said hello welcome to family meeting. One important decision has been made. My son from the U.S. said on Zoom, excuse me internet connection is very bad. You are getting a live-in maid? It is a very good decision.

Kamalam said, no no no. What is the need to waste money on maid and all. Zero work is there in the home these days. I can take care of everything. Maid and all what is the need to take the money and give it to someone else?

U.S. son started shouting, sorry cannot hear properly did you say you have given all the money to someone else? Oh my god, appa must have done some stupidity on the internet no? Since 2005 I am saying don’t let appa on the internet, don’t let appa on the internet, disconnect, disconnect, he is useless. Whether anyone will listen? No. Ok fine. All money is gone or some money is still left?

Madam/ Sir, I picked up laptop to throw it out of the balcony but Mrs. Mathrubootham immediately took my collar and put me back in the dining chair. She said, laptop is growing on tree in the balcony like karuveppilai or what? Wait for five minutes, connection will become ok. Zoom is like this only.

Then Mrs. Mathrubootham made full announcement. She said family members today we have accepted offer from new buyer for the flat. After two-three months of negotiations, we have found good buyer and good price. After 30 years, we are going to leave this flat in one month’s time.

Then after that there was total silence for five or six minutes. Total sentiments. Sentiments means sentiments like anything. Then slowly U.S. son is asking what about my brother? Mrs. Mathrubootham announced that work-from-home son is now shifting to his own flat nearby in Anna Nagar. Meanwhile, Mrs. Mathrubootham and myself, we are going to rent one flat nearby, one month is there to find flat. What is the hurry? Maybe we will find flat in this building only. Maybe we will go to new location.

Both sons are sitting quietly. Maybe they are thinking of old memories and sentiments. Then Mrs. Mathrubootham said ok everybody no need for silence and all. It is like a new adventure. But first of all, we have to do packing like anything. Some almirah and all unopened since jambuvan period. What and all is inside who knows? But one month is there. No hurry. I said, Kamalam, whether we will find flat with space for all books and DVDs and all? She said, old man, you have 75 copies of Guns of Navarone, you please sit quietly and do some sentiments for family instead of DVD.

I said ok fine, later don’t say that this is missing, that is missing and make it all my fault.

Then son from U.S. is saying who is doing pole vault? Somebody is doing pole vault?

Mrs. Mathrubootham said, ok old man take this laptop and throw it as far as you can out of the balcony. One less item to pack. Since I am throwing, I will write more next week only.

Yours in exasperation,

J. Mathrubootham

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Printable version | Dec 4, 2020 12:12:33 AM | https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/who-is-doing-pole-vault/article32981029.ece

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