Complicated relationships

Published - September 02, 2018 12:18 am IST

The 21st century has showered many gifts on us ranging from sharper technologies to friendly social media. But one thing the century has brought on us is complicated relationships. Relationships have gone from spending days together to spending only weekends, from marrying to living-in, from falling in love to no strings attached.

We have come a long way from being orthodox to being ‘hypocritical’. We used to strictly believe in arranged marriages and love after marriage; now we believe in no strings attached and if at all, ‘Love’ might just happen else you marry someone who fulfills your ‘Needs’. ‘Needs’ have become the core of every relationship. What have we done to ourselves? Can we still perceive relationships?

Together and apart

I have come across people who are living together only till they get married, but to different people. I have come across couples who don’t love each other but are together to get their needs satisfied. I have met people who are desperately looking for love but are too afraid to open up because they have been alone for long now. I have seen my friends cry their eyes out after their partner ended a five-year relationship and now they are ‘Happily Married’, to someone whom they met for a week on arranged basis. People don’t fall in love anymore. We are so full of insecurity that we are convinced no relationship can succeed. So, in order to avoid heartbreaks, we close the doors to our heart and throw the keys out into the ocean. We have moody relationships. If we are not into them anymore, we give up and move on. Feelings float like icebergs to melt when the sun is out.

Of parents, children

And one relationship that was assumed to be really strong is also shaken to the roots — that between parents and children. Many children no longer have the urge to meet their parents and to stay with them, and parents no longer feel the need to connect with their emotionally broke children as long as the monthly cheques come in. With money in our purse, we all are still alone and broke emotionally.

Preconceived notions kill relationships, no matter how strong. We have a five-minute call with them every day just as a formality and visit them once in a year, and they are just worried about our marriage and their retirement. Where are the love and the urge to see the glowing smiles without material attachments?

The relationships we have now are no longer limited to long talks under a starry night with a cup of coffee. They are now about beers, pizzas, dances, and one-night stands. Love has lost its way altogether.

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