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Mr. Mathrubootham deals with a patriot

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Respected Madam/Sir,

I read one article recently. Not in your esteemed newspaper. Some other newspaper or magazine, maybe from the U.S. Article writer is saying, Ayya Ayyo Ayappa, friendship and family and all is destroying these days because of politics. If father says something means son will fight. If son will say even single Trump, Obama, something, mother itself will shower abuse. Better to spend time with same-to-same politics people, it said.

Madam/sir, what and all nonsense they are publishing in foreign newspaper? Shall I tell you one better way? OK. Two-three days back who came to visit Mrs. Mathrubootham and spend one or two weeks in Chennai? Her brother from Nagercoil, Mr. Ravi.

Whether you are remembering Mr. Ravi from Nagercoil? I told you in one letter he is Modi supporter means fully supporter. Morning to night to next morning to next night if you talk to Ravi means Modi, Modi, Modi. Nonstop.

Holiest of all

I told Ravi, “Excuse me Ravi, hello Ravi please calm down, even Mr. Modi’s mother is also not saying Modi Modi so much.” He said, “How dare you Mr. Mathrubootham, how dare you take name of holiest of all women in India like this in your talk, did you take name of Nehru’s mother like this?”

You think he is causing scene only during politics talks? Madam/sir, no, no, thousand times no. Suppose I am in next room discussing some household issues with Mrs. Mathrubootham. “Where is mobile bill? Whether you are watching Netflix again old man?” Like that, normal day-to-day talks.

Suddenly Ravi will insert head into the room like dysentery entering stomach. “Hello what are you talking? Are you talking about Prime Minister Modi? Are you putting gossips about great leader like Pakistani spies? Is there any patriotism in this house or only traitorism?”

Problem is so unbearable that when Ravi is in house family members are sending WhatsApp message to each other.

“Kamalam what is for dinner?”

“Rice and vathakuzhambu.”

“Kamalam, any other option?”

“One other option is there full-night hunger.”

“Kamalam first option is better, thank you.”

But now, madam/sir, I have discovered new method of dealing with Ravi. Discovered last week only. As soon as he came to the flat, Kamalam said, “Let us have tea.” She put tea and Parle-G on the table. Immediately he said, oh you are serving Parle-G…?

I immediately said, “Ravi, I have one very good idea for saving time. Let us quickly finish Modi talks in two minutes and then enjoy. Ok? So you will say Parle-G blah blah. Then I will say what is the Hindi word for numeral five? Then you will say five is paanch, every patriot is knowing. Then I will say economy ka growth rate paanch percent hai. Then you will go and sit in the bedroom for 3 hours until lunchtime. Correct or no? Correct. So, now why don’t you go sit in the bedroom for two minutes, take tea and Parle-G with you, then afterwards when you are feeling fresh, we can go to Marina Beach and Anna Tower and see evening show film and all?”

Madam/sir, it is working like anything. Just now we are going to Ganga Sweets to get some rasmalai for dinner sweet dish. Never before so much happiness in Ravi life. In between he got Modi emotions again. I said, “Ravi no problem after dinner we will fight for 10 minutes before sleep.” He said, “Excellent Mathrubootham, you are great.”

Yours in family satisfaction,

J. Mathrubootham

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Printable version | Jun 21, 2021 10:55:57 AM | https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/columns/mr-mathrubootham-deals-with-a-patriot/article29467149.ece

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