The Bombay High Court may have clarified that it didn’t consider Tolstoy’s War and Peace “objectionable material” but I am taking no chances. The Bhima Koregaon case accused might not be convicted for being in possession of a 19th century classic (this is the 150th year of its publication, but we know classics are always contemporary), but what of other books?
Reader, cleanse thy bookshelves, for today’s parody is tomorrow’s reality. Twitter has had its fun, but I’d hate to be arrested for possessing a book that might have a different message for people who have not read it.
I once saw a book, How To Hold Up a Bank , and to my regret then, didn’t buy it. Now I am glad I didn’t. According to the review on Amazon, this is “a book that anyone living near the coast or concerned about our coastlines should read ….” and is about preserving our hillsides and shorelines. Written by Georgina Reid exactly one hundred years after War and Peace , it is about dealing with excess water in your fields or backyards. Not what you thought it was, but do our cops know that?
Those who want a guide to reading need only to check out the Internet. One Thousand Books to Read Before You Die and One Hundred Books to Buy Before They Arrest You both have one weakness in common. They tell you what the books are about. What we need, however, is a list which explains to authorities what books are not about. Or we could find ourselves like the character out of Kafka who is arrested and prosecuted without knowing either the nature of his crime or how he displeased the authorities.
Here’s a short list to get started:
Catch 22 by Joseph Heller: This is not an order from politicians on arresting 22 random people for a crime they will decide on later.
Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe: Not a comment on what happens when those in power arrest people for being possessing books they haven’t heard of.
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley: Not a manifesto for declaring your little town independent and breaking away.
My Name Is Red by Orhan Pamuk: Not the result of absorbing an overdose of Marx and going so far Left that you come around from the other side and catch the Right unawares.
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens: Not about a pregnant woman about to have quadruplets and ruin the national population plan.
The Postman Always Rings Twice by James Cain: Not about someone going deaf or the diary of a professional complaining about having to call emergency more than once before someone responds.
Lord of the Rings by Tolkien: Not about Olympic champions, serial monogamists or the postman above.
Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut: Not about abattoirs of any kind or in any number.
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Not the detailing of punishment to be meted out to people who possess the above-mentioned books.
(Suresh Menon is Contributing Editor, The Hindu)
