The survivor in the actor rape case has said that she will give a strong fight in the case without worrying about its outcome.
Speaking on camera about the incident, while taking part in a Global Town Hall, the actor said her fight was not just for herself but for protecting the dignity of all women. She said she became convinced that she was a survivor, and not a victim, after coming out of the court on the 15th day of her examination as a witness.
The trial in the case is being held at a special court here for the past four years. The investigation team has sought more time for completing the investigation in the case following the revelation of a filmmaker that actor Dileep, the 8th accused in the case, had conspired to physically harm the investigation officers in the case. The filmmaker had also stated that the visuals of the alleged rape were leaked and Dileep had invited him to view it. Dileep is accused of conspiracy in the rape case.
‘A long nightmare’
Speaking about the trauma, the actor said her life changed forever since the incident that occurred on February 17, 2017. “My whole life turned upside down after the incident. I was searching for something or someone to blame for the incidents… At times, I thought it was a long nightmare and once I got up, everything would be back to normal… I desperately wanted to go back to the time before the incident so that my life would be normal. I was blaming myself. I was thinking it was my fault,” she said.
Experience on media
On the debates on TV channels, the actor said the five-year journey since the incident was difficult. “While a large number of people offered their support on channels, some other groups were blaming me for what had happened. Then there was propaganda on social media that I had staged the incident and it was a fake case. They accused me of making up a false case,” she said.
She said she did not use social media and hence could avoid the remarks there. She termed the attacks ‘very hurting and painful.’
Film industry’s response
The actor said she was denied work in the Malayalam film industry after the incident. Though some filmmakers and actors such as Ashiq Abu, Jeenu Abraham, Shaji Kailas, Bhadran, and Jayasurya wanted her to come back and had offered her work, she said she turned down the offers for five years as she was too traumatised to come back to the industry and work again, pretending that nothing had happened. “I was not in the right frame of mind. I stayed away from the industry for my peace of mind. But I continued to work in other languages,” she said.
Hinting that she may return to the Malayalam film industry, the actor said she had been recently listening to some scripts.
The survivor said she felt very lonely sitting in the courtroom for 15 days. “I had immense support from people and I should not ignore that. But when I was in the court, there was nobody for me. I was lonely and devastated, because I was going through all that had happened again and again to prove that I didn’t do anything wrong. Then I realised that it was my fight and I should fight it out,” she said.
A message for society
Referring to the messages she received from women after the incident, the actor said it was painful to know that thousands of women had been keeping their trauma to themselves, unable to open up, fearing that it might affect their career, happiness, profession and mental peace.
The actor said society should normalise the idea of a traumatised person coming out of it and voicing the distressing experience. Society should encourage that courage, she said.
