Seeking professional help as a queer person can be daunting. There’s a fear of facing prejudice, judgement and misinformation, which can be counterproductive and even damaging. We speak with Megha Seth, clinical psychologist at The Humsafar Trust, to understand the process of comforting and helping queer clients.
As a mental health professional, what sort of cases do you come across from the queer community?
I usually encounter things [that] are related to HIV, [of which] most are MSM (men who have sex with men), sexual identity issues, transgender people [who] have gender identity issues. Coming out is another big issue or how to adjust to a marriage when they identify as homosexual or bisexual.
What’s the most common issue you hear from your patients?
How to adjust in a marriage because majority of the clients I get are the ones who are married or who are about to get married or who are forced into getting married, mostly men who identify as homosexual. In a week, I probably get about four or five such cases face to face, over the phone is another story.
What your first advice to those seeking help?
As a counsellor we are not supposed to give advice. But the first thing I tell them is that it is completely OK to feel whatever they are feeling, because you have to make the person feel comfortable. This might be the first time they are actually coming out to somebody and maybe are coming out to themselves. So you have to make sure that you are not judgemental. I just tell them that this is a safe space and they can be whoever they want to be.
Has the Supreme Court’s verdict on Section 377 made it any easier for the queer community to face day-to-day issues?
The 377 verdict has made some of them come out and know themselves or rather some of them don’t [feel scared] anymore. But for the majority, society still does not accept them. Even though they can’t be put behind bars, the society, their family and friends still don’t accept them. We have a long way to go.
Many queer and transgender people may encounter homophobic therapists which can be counterproductive. What advice do you give them?
The problem I face sometimes is that there are therapists who say that they can change you and make you heterosexual. We do have homophobic therapists. If my client ever says that this is what they encounter I say stop going to that therapist. The second thing, I note down who the therapist is and we have a list, we just put them on the black list. We have the list of LGBTQ therapists who we refer our clients to. We [also] have a list of therapists we absolutely don’t refer our clients to.
How do you help those who are facing an identity crisis?
There are different ways. There is gender identity and sexual identity. We talk about what is sex, gender, sexual identity [and] gender expression. We help them come out [with] whoever they are, whether they are gender fluid, gender queer or non binary. We talk to them about these labels and we tell them that you don’t have to fit in to any label but they exist and they are normal. There is nothing out of the ordinary, so that is how we help them accept themselves and accept who they are.
What’s the most challenging part of your job?
Fighting the heteronormative society because everything we see from the moment we are born is through heteronormative lenses so we fail to see [that] there are different types of people in the society. We don't see that there could be someone who is gender non-conforming [and] that there are genders beyond male and female or that there are sexual identities beyond heterosexuality.
