I’ve always been the spoilt little sister. I can almost see my sister smile as she reads this. I got what I wanted, was never blamed for any of the naughty things that I did and always got a longer rope when it came to doing anything. Ah! the privileges of being the little sister. This meant I was allowed to get up a good half hour later than her on school days. But as all big sisters would, mine too wanted to bully the younger one. She would wake up half an hour earlier, but that time was used to finish last minute homework, ironing the uniform, packing her bag — all of which was supposed to be finished the previous night. And then the war for the bathroom would start. She would go in and take forever to come out and I would wait till I couldn’t wait any longer and get all rattled. Sometimes she would come out and give me exactly five minutes to shower and get ready because we would be late for school.
My little big people – here’s how you can learn to deal with bathroom wars and fight fair with a sibling.
Bathrooms may be the hardest to share. They are private places that are often used by two or more people. Cleaning up after someone else’s personal mess is gross, so always clean up after you. Clean up the spilled toothpaste, wipe off the toilet seat, pick up your used towels, and put your dirty clothes in the washing tub. And, if you are a boy, always put the toilet seat down when you’re done.
Even in the best of relationships there are disagreements and fights. Nobody agrees about everything all the time! “Fighting fair” really means talking to each other, even when you are angry. Sulking and not talking will only make things worse. Yelling, name calling and swearing add fuel to the fire. When I was mad at my sister, I would tell the neighbours that she was not my “real” sister and that she was from some alien country. There’s a better way, especially with siblings – talk it out. Here’s how:
Take some time to cool off. Trying to talk when tempers are flaring usually doesn’t work.
Talk calmly. Don’t talk at the speed of 500 words per minute. No one is going to understand what you’re trying to say.
Listen to what the other person has to say. There may be something that you would not have considered.
Let the other person know what is bothering you. Don’t expect them to read what’s going on in your mind, or worse, act according to what you are thinking.
Work out a compromise so you don’t feel you’re the one losing out.
Involve another family member . When it is absolutely necessary, ask your mother or father to intervene. Sometimes, another view is all you need to find a solution that works for all.
(A weekly column in which Sulakshana Badani will answer your queries related to etiquette. Write to her at staystylish24x7@gmail.
com)
