So I happen to be in the USA as I write this and, before you brandish the baton of boastfulness in my direction, allow me to share how I am missing out on the Dussehra festivities.
It is the time of giving (for others) and for graciously receiving (for yours truly) and I think nothing could better define nor maintain the balance of nature than this exchange. And inasmuch as it makes me curl up and die somewhere inside each time I am gifted a bottle of some awful plonk, I hold composure. And then I relegate the giver to some dark corner of my social circle while simultaneously making a mental note of whom to palm said insipid insult on to in an eternal game of passing the parcel.
But you don’t have to be at the giving nor receiving end of this game. Between now and Dussehra and en suite Diwali, there will be many a soirée and if you don’t want the invites to die down after the first party you turn up at with a bottle of Chateau Supermarket written all over it, here are a few pointers on the art of gifting.
1 There is nothing taboo about gifting alcohol; turning up without anything at all (not even flowers) is. But wine is better; it too has a bouquet and a lot more beyond that. As long as the bottle is sealed, and the recipient is somebody who will actually break said seal and go on to imbibe the stuff inside, it is a perfectly acceptable gift.
2 It isn’t wrong to buy a cheap bottle. It is however inexplicably rude to pick up just any bottle for the sake of not turning up empty-handed. Wines, or spirits for that matter, are like perfume; everyone has a personal taste. Only two forms of gifting are thus acceptable: giving a bottle that you know your acquaintance already knows and loves, or, gifting a product that is close to your heart and you wish to share this joy by way of extending to your friend a chance to try it.
3 Always try and include a personal note about why you bought it, perhaps where and most importantly what made you think it would be a good gift for the person. You can leave out the ‘how much’ bit. Unless it was into five digits: in which case, don’t just leave the price tag on, send the credit card receipt along as well.
4 Champagnes are always welcome, no matter the brand. However, in the absence of an unlimited fund to dip into, convey your generosity in the form of other sparkling wines. Notches down in price but not in quality are our local variants like Chandon, Zampa Soirée and Fratelli.
5 When gifting spirits, be more prudent as to which are safe to play. If the person is into single malt but you wish to surprise him, Tequila Blanco may not cut it; aim for an Anejo.
6 If you must gift single malt, try and research a bit into what the person likes and then try finding something else that is stylistically similar. Don’t gift Islay to a Lowland lover, if you get the jargon.
7 Vodka lovers are perhaps the easiest to please, just get something that comes in an odd-shaped bottle and claims to be distilled a gazillion times.
8 For Cognac lovers, Armagnac can be a good sidestep. That said, prized brandy from any famous winery, (or Grappa from Italy) can also be worthy choices.
9 If beer be the beverage of choice, the options on our shelves are reasonably extensive. ‘‘Don’t gift local brands” seems to be the only caveat, unless you are sponsoring an entire evening’s worth. Amongst foreign brands now being made in India, Peroni, Heineken, and Tuborg stand out.
10 Lastly, don’t gift-wrap bottles unnecessarily: multinational brands didn’t spend a significant chunk of their budgets on label design to have it wrapped up in some shiny paper with your grubby paws. Just put a delicate ribbon around the neck, possibly with a neck tag.
So now, you can be sure to be invited for all the events. But before you strain your arm from patting yourself in the back too much, there could be another reason apart from your refined taste in the bottles you gift why everyone wants you over: maybe because you are horrible at cards.
Magandeep Singh is India's first sommelier, food, wine and travel writer and TV show host. His passions include studying languages and choking the saxophone. In his free time he works.
