Gender experts tell us that there's a fundamental difference between women and men. When women are depressed they go shopping. Men invade a country. So now we know for sure that while mankind may just destroy itself altogether with wars, womankind will ensure that our malls always do great business. And so will survive any crisis, and ultimately rule the world. (Though admittedly, we will have trouble electing a woman as President in many countries. Because a candidate must first be over 35 for this post — now where are you going to find smart women admitting they are over 35?)
And even though the world of women is largely composed of men, (in fact the word “women” itself seems to be largely composed of men…) we only have to realise that we can stand on our own stilettoed feet, and rise above men in any given situation.
Consider this : A lot of history itself would've played out differently, if only women had taken the starring roles. Take that incident that we all know where a man set out on a ship to find India, but got totally lost on the way. Now if only there had been a Mrs Christopher Colombus on board, she'd have stopped the ship on the way, asked for directions, and our trade agreements with Spain could have begun much faster.
The rights
True, history has shown that some men have, even if a bit reluctantly, given women their due, and acknowledged their place in society. One such enlightened man was Groucho Marx. I'm all for women's rights, he said once at a public forum, to thunderous applause. But I am also for their lefts, he continued… Which confused quite a few, with that left-handed compliment.
Well, we women have over the years clearly shown that we are way more fit for survival than men. At the most women may start a rumour, but never a war.
And even as men foolishly destroy themselves, don't imagine we are all going to go blue in the face, missing men for their brawn, their bravery, and their chivalry. We suspect that the only reason they yell “women and children first!” in a burning building, is to test the strength of the ladders.
Total sympathy
That's why I can now sympathise with my pal Savita, or Savvy as we call her. She decided she isn't going to suffer men any more (like that more extreme ailment, called men-opause, which also causes mood swings). She was once so happy with Jaggu, because he worshipped the ground she walked on. But later she found out that it was only because she owned a ground on Boat Club Road — the city's priciest real estate.
Savvy told me that as long as the world's agriculturists invested in more cocoa production, she's fine, as she finds chocolates a great substitute for men. “But surely you gave up too easily, Savvy,” I tried reasoning with her. “You should go out more, meet more suitable guys…” Savvy bit purposefully into her Cadbury Bournville slab, and said, “Of course I have. And I met several smart, well-dressed, creative, caring guys who are cooking geniuses too. But all of them have boyfriends.”
indubee8@yahoo.co.in
