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Emotional Health - Trapped by fear

Conscious choice: Don't let fear drive you. Photo: Special Arrangement

Conscious choice: Don't let fear drive you. Photo: Special Arrangement  

As a society we are constantly driven by fear: fear of being late, of rejection, of failure, of falling sick, of eating, of saying something wrong …. When fear is the key motivator, then life is frenetic and frenzied. Why have we let fear consume us?

Most people base decisions in life on just one question: Does it involve pain? Or conversely does it give pleasure? Whether it involves eating, going to work, answering the phone ….

Pain or pleasure

All involve decisions that we do not even think about but are subconsciously linked to the question about pain or pleasure. So when we do things to avoid pain, with the fear of pain being the motivator, the stress hormones are constantly at play. As a result, decision making is not considered but desperate. These will almost always result in failure.

When we do things in accordance with our core beliefs we are in a happy space doing what we enjoy doing. Usually we succeed easily and effortlessly. When we do things against our core beliefs, the fight or flee response is triggered. Failure, struggle and chaos are usually the result.

From the time we are born, we learn from our parents, teachers, books, movies, friends and society at large. Some things we reject and some we accept to be true. Whenever we accept something to be true, it enters our subconscious as a belief. This is a choice we make and is not left to fate. We may not even be aware of this.

These accepted beliefs reside along with other beliefs that ensure your survival. Your subconscious doesn't grade them in order of priority. All beliefs are meant for your survival and if you attempt to oppose them, you will not succeed.

Remember it is always your choice to accept or reject a belief. Some beliefs are also inherited from the parents and passed on through the genes.

Why do we go against our core beliefs? It is because we don't know what our core beliefs are. We may not even recall when we accepted something as true. Your subconscious, of course, never forgets.

Failure is the first message from your body to alert you to the fact that you are working against your beliefs. Repeated failure will manifest as fear of failure. This develops into constant spiral of anger, frustration depression, stress and low self esteem.

People take many decisions motivated by fear. For example: Having a shower and spraying a deodorant arises from fear of humiliation (due to body odour) and rejection by peers. Studying for exams comes from the fear of failing and having to face parents. Going to work results from the fear of not being able to afford things or rejection by peers. Exercising is the result of fear of looking bad, of falling sick.

When joy is the key

When your actions are in sync with your belief systems then you will be motivated by joy; you exude positive energy and the chances of success are very high.

Take the same examples as above. Having a shower for the sheer joy of being clean gives no space for fear. Believing in the subject you're studying and working for the joy of passing and feeling the congratulations leads to success.

Once you have changed your beliefs and are setting out to acquire what you desire, detach yourself from the fear of not getting the desired result and attach yourself to the joy of performing the action. Your earlier addiction to fear has to be released consciously. Soon all that you desire will flow into your life easily and effortlessly and from surprising venues. Joy will surely come into your life.

At home when your child needs to be threatened to do something then he/she may not believe in that activity. Children growing up with the joy of doing something will choose their journey based on their passions and will enjoy themselves.

In the workplace, does an employee need more of the stick than the carrot? May be he is being made to work against his core belief. When you need to pit one against the other or mock slow achievers in presence of their peers, may be you have employees who are in the wrong jobs.

When you feel that everything depends on a successful outcome and you feel fear, anxiety and tension grip your mind, understand that you are going against you belief system. Identify these beliefs in your subconscious.

Once you do this you can either accept it and change your desires or reject and release this belief and get your desires easily and effortlessly. Either way you change your life and your destiny.

A.S. Raviprakash is a theta healer.

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Printable version | Sep 20, 2020 11:26:06 AM | https://www.thehindu.com/features/magazine/emotional-health-trapped-by-fear/article2655932.ece

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