Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3 tries to legitimise an old genre of filmmaking in Bollywood by giving it a new name: ‘porn-com’. It’s a different matter that it neither titillates nor elicits a good laugh to justify its much-hyped nomenclature. But what it does reveal is the random way in which the makers would have gone about cobbling the film together.
In the limited imagination of its makers if it is porn-com then the setting has to be Thailand. So they go Bangkok.
They start a radical new tradition of screen-writing whereby the writer feeds every possible double entendre, innuendo and pun known to him on the laptop and then just juggles it and says “abracadabra” hoping that a script would emerge. It doesn't.
So as a next step they decide to deploy unmentionable body parts as sites for some gags to unfold. Additionally they throw in obscene gestures and sounds. Still nothing stirs.
Next: they do a series of Bollywood spoofs. And to justify the porn bit give the spoofs double meaning titles like Kholay (for Sholay).
Additionally they reinforce the callow young men’s idea that women are only boobs, butts and legs. They disembody them so much that you can’t distinguish one scantily-clad woman from the other.
After all this they throw a big challenge to the critic of a serious, reputed, national daily: just how to write about the film without offending the readers.
And yet, they do manage to influence the critic subliminally. So, in the film’s aftermath when she types the word “things” on her phone the auto-correct spells it out as “thongs”. And no this isn’t a joke, it happened for real. The film? Watching it still feels unreal.
