If you didn’t believe The Beatles when they sang ‘All You Need is Love’, then you’ve got to believe science that tells us that there are numerous benefits to connection and relationships. But because it is Christmas Day, we will tune out the scientists and tune into the feeling. “There are as many types of love and ways to express love as there are cultures, languages, and perhaps even people…” says The Scientific American Book of Love, Sex and the Brain .
To a doctor who confronts death daily
Love is the need for and realisation of the value of quality time with those you cherish, when you don’t know if you’re going to make it out of the operation theatre or treatment unit. Being a bone marrow transplant physician, I need to tell my patients that there is a 20% chance of mortality during the treatment. It’s most difficult when a child is a teenager and is aware of the condition and its seriousness. As doctors, it’s our privilege to be able to give people the option of time if the disease permits.
A 16-year-old patient of mine looked me straight in the eye and asked if he could celebrate Makkar Sankranti with kites, sweets and lots of shouting under an open sky, and if we could do the transplant after. His parameters allowed it, and I agreed. This is the basic respect we give our patients; the choice to make memories when time is seemingly short.
Dr Satyendra Katewa, Head, Paediatric Hemato-Oncology and Bone Marrow Transplant, Manipal Hospital, Jaipur
To a new grandmother
I smile each time I recall the moment: the grand entry of my little one, through the OT door, wrapped in the secure arms of her father, my son-in-law. The anxiety and excitement of months, suddenly transformed into a prayer of blessing and gratitude, a precursor to the joyous feeling they call love. For, each spoonful in the mouth and each scoopful of poop in the diaper is a reason to rejoice, just as each wail is a cause for the deepening of that new wrinkle. Much drama in everything!
What is it, about this being, who is ours to love, but not all our own? How is it different this time round? My bundle of wonder makes me ponder. Do I love her more because she is a new-found playmate, or do I cherish her so because she is born of my daughter, to whom she brings such joy and happiness?”
Minnoo Singh, Gurgaon, Homemaker
To a marriage therapist
I work with couples in hurting relationships day in and day out; it sometimes feels like we are trying to navigate their love boat through a tsunami of feelings. Through all this, it reminds me that love is intentional. It’s about first being friends and then lovers. It’s about building each other up while still giving each other space. It’s about seeing love, not as a romanticised feeling, but as a ‘verb’... reflected in my purposeful acts of kindness, patience, forgiveness and laughter.
Aparna Samuel Balasundaram, psychotherapist, Co-Founder and Chief Service Officer, The Lighthouse Organisation, The Human Development Experts, Gurgaon
For a four-legged friend
I used to find it funny when I heard clichéd statements from friends, like ‘love at first sight’, ‘butterflies in the stomach’ on just seeing or catching a glimpse of someone they loved. Today, I realise it is true. For me, it has been love at first sight no less, and I have experienced this twice over, first when Mojo came into our home as my dad’s birthday present, and then recently, 6 months ago, when we adopted Joey.
Being around Mojo and Joey leaves me feeling like the most wanted person on earth, and they have eyes for no one else except me. My moods are many and at times I just don’t give them the attention they desire, but when I walk into the house, the way they hurl themselves at me, all my deeds are forgiven and they have only love to give.
My dogs are my happy place. They taught me is that love should be unconditional. The only sadness I feel is that I haven’t done enough for them. I want more for such beautiful, kind, caring creatures.I love them so much that I’m ready to dedicate my life to doing so.
Unnati Sharad, Gurgaon, Student
When your kids have grown up and stepped out of home
A bonding with family that can only come through communication. I remember the early days of my career, when I travelled the world a great deal, and would be out for upto three months at a stretch. A phone call meant many coins and standing in a booth! Today, we are blessed because we can talk to our loved ones at any time. All I need to do now is calculate the time difference, so I don’t wake my son up, in Canada!
V V Krishnan
Love me tender
One year of marriage later, I still behave like a doting crush waiting on her lover’s phone call. I anticipate seeing my hubby come home, come up with horridly corny nicknames, write love notes every chance I get, and sneak in hugs and kisses like we’re still under different roofs. Being in love feels like, well, the comfort of mom’s food, the satisfaction of the perfect French fries and the joy of being with your best friend. It feels just right!
Alicia Souza, illustrator, Bengaluru, who has dedicated a whole website to her husband www.dearestgeorge.com
