For the past decade, Reshma Valliappan, who suffers from schizophrenia, has been living without medication. She had Reye’s syndrome as a baby, has been sexually abused, and has run away from home.
Then there’s gender queer Navadeep Pannala, a transgender activist who has been fighting to just live as they want to, without having to choose a gender norm that society wants to impose.
For Shovona Karmakar, life has been incredibly difficult too, growing up as the daughter of a Bengali father and African mother. Society’s idea of beauty has never really been in line with how she looks. She’s had to reiterate her place in the world ever since she realised she’s an Indian woman with African roots that manifest in the form of untameable curly hair and dark skin.
The three have one thing in common: their struggle to find acceptance. This Friday, they will be key panellists at an event to create awareness about bullying.
Founded by Rohan Sabharwal and Rachana Iyer, CraYon Impact is a design and innovation social enterprise that looks to change people’s attitudes towards social causes. Their previous workshops have included an improv comedy for differently-abled women, and another that allows visually-challenged people to let go and dance.
Bully Proof, its third effort, looks at bullying from a holistic perspective, covering gender and sexuality, mental health and body acceptance. “It’s a series of the anti-bullying collective,” says Sabharwal. “This is the first of the series. We want to get the dialogue going on bullying.”
Supported by Pra-Kar, an entrepreneurship start-up, and The Red Door, Valliappan’s mental health initiative, Bully Proof, like their previous events “will have an artistic undertone,” says Iyer. “Poetry and film is the creative medium this time.”
Poet Ramneek Singh will showcase his free verse skills in Hindustani and the 2011 docu-feature, The Bully Project, will be screened. The film follows public school students and their families in four American states after two students committed suicide owing to bullying.
Bully Proof hopes to strike a chord with the audience. “Society is ruthless, brutal and cruel,” says Karmakar, who was bullied for a decade in school and called names like nigger, negro and Maggie. “I don’t know how much strength my story has, but whatever is happening has to be accepted and you need to feel good about yourself.” Now a self-taught commercial photographer, Karmakar urges people to continue to pursue their passions, and seek professional help.
The photographer will also share her struggle with depression, suicide, sexual abuse and other problems; reminding the audience that they’re not alone in their fights. It’s this crippling loneliness that the event’s speakers are hoping to touch upon.
Layers of bullying“My first and foremost contribution is simply letting people know I exist,” says Valliappan. “Then to point out the layers of bullying that can exist from the time a girl child is born to the day she dies, and, even after death.”
Sometimes, people get so used to trauma that it becomes a way of life, without realising what they’re being subjected to. Or worse, when people think they’re “not getting bullied but merely overreacting to social situations,” says Valliappan. “In short, I tend to challenge the audience to try to find the simplicity in experiences in order to heal. We can’t reverse what has happened, but we can definitely do something about it compassionately.”
Bullying has become synonymous with correction. “At home, it’s parenting; at school, it’s disciplining; and in society, it’s straightening them out,” says social and transgender activist Pannala. “We have to understand that it’s legitimate.” It’s everywhere, masked under supposed well-intentioned people’s remarks and actions, adds Pannala, who for years has faced bullying for being different. “The onus is always on the victim,” she says. “It continues in every phase of life.” As someone who has never felt comfortable with gender conformity — they sport facial hair while draped in a sari — Pannala wants their participation at Bully Proof to simply start a dialogue, even before there’s a change in attitude. Then only will the authorities sit up and create guidelines to prevent bullying.
Bully Proof at House of Wow on May 13, 9 pm. Tickets: Rs 500. email: info @getyourcrayon.org.
