On my father’s death recently, I received a ‘sad smiley’ in my message box from an acquaintance. Another one sent a broken heart.
Later, I was told by their friend, “They felt ‘awkward’ sharing your grief as they don’t know how to do it!”
Welcome to the new mode of greetings: ‘emoticons’, which may be in the form of ‘smileys’ or ‘expression stickers’, specific to certain apps, that are gradually replacing emotions on various mobile applications.
No age group is far removed from them, though they are more popular among the younger generation.
Agrees media academic Binny Yadav Ahuja: “Using symbols in SMS and social media communications is an ‘acceptable’ part of human communication today. This generation is so much hooked to the social media that they are using these symbols for expressing virtually every possible human emotion. They prefer using a ‘smiley’ to facial muscles to pass a smile, and text an angry monster rather than showing anger or frustration even while sitting next to a friend who they are sending it to! One of my students even confided in me that she had got so hooked to expressing through these symbols that she feels uncomfortable displaying simple feelings like happiness, pleasure, anger, crying, and love for someone or something.”
“The most comfortable part about using such symbols they say is that they can use them even with their parents showing anger, frustration, broken heart, love and hugs without indulging in a showdown, especially at a public place,” says Ms. Ahuja.
“I use a lot of smileys because each one is worth a thousand words,” says 22-year-old Vaibhav Verma, a first-year engineering student of PDM College of Technology and Management. However, he doesn't believe smileys are used to replace emotions.
“We don’t use them for those we are not close to. But only when is there less chance to talk. ”
But some parents like Sabiha Aasif have a different version. Says this mother of three grown-up children: “We are living in a materialistic world so even emotions are expressed materialistically. Creating smileys is a marketing gimmick to exploit children.”
She, however, adds with pride. “Thankfully, my children don’t use emoticons because we have brought them up in a way that they would rather cry in front of us than send a smiley with tears! ”
But the use of expressive stickers/smileys is not always bad. “Use of smileys is done to avoid long conversations. Their use has increased because these smileys have countless expressions to choose from; earlier we had only happiness and sadness to emote. If someone wants to say ‘I love you’, he/she rather uses a symbol of ‘I am thinking of you’ expression than shooting a red heart directly. It saves them some embarrassment and apprehension of rejection. Also, it is not always used as a fashion statement but also as ‘reciprocation’,” says Pranita Gaur, a professor of clinical psychology at Delhi University.
Dr. Gaur adds that with the older generation, these smileys have worked well. “At old age homes or with old patients, when their children send them smileys, they don’t understand and ask me their meaning. When I tell them, they feel very happy and gratified that their children at least remember them.”
Yet, warns this consultant with Shanti Mukund Hospital, Preet Vihar: “Those who use it excessively will forget to communicate with words and physical gestures when required.
For instance during marriages or death, they would feel awkward and would want to leave that ‘unsuitable’ space on the first given chance. It might lead to crippled communication skills or behavioural problems in future.”
