It’s that time of the year when mush is in the air again and interestingly enough, a strong anti-Valentine’s Day sentiment too prevails. With Singles Awareness Day falling on the same day, singles are never made more aware of their status than at this time of the year. Ironically enough though, there are couples who loathe the day just as much as the single folk out there!
“I’m okay with going out for a movie or a meal. But seriously, gift-giving is a pain,” rants Ayesha Varkey, a radio programmer.
She adds: “It’s not really the giving part I dislike but just the ‘figuring out what to give’ bit! We celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas, so V-Day is added trouble for a person like me who never knows what to gift a guy!”
Milind Harish Kumar, a physiotherapist, says: “I think Valentine’s Day would actually be a lot more fun if it wasn’t commercialised. We are force-fed all things lovey-dovey everywhere we go. Last year, I wasn’t married and so I took my best friend out to dinner. Immediately we were asked if we wanted the Valentine’s themed menu (which is not so different from the regular one) and if I wanted to dedicate a song to her that the live band could play! It’s ridiculous to assume that everyone is kicked about this occasion.”
If you’ve ever gone out on Valentine’s Day, whether to a fine-dining restaurant or a cocktail bar, chances are you’ve been put off by the sheer number of people out there.
“One of the main reason my husband and I hate going out on Valentine’s Day is because every single restaurant is crowded, even the fast food joints, with teenaged lovebirds.
Apart from the fact that you’ve got to make reservations well in advance, we aren’t the kind of couple that likes to dine in a packed banquet hall with the next party giving us the looks, in the vain hope that we will down our drinks and gobble up our food! We could also do without having to watch some couples coochie-coo in a public place,” says Dhrithi Ponappa, a corporate trainer.
“I absolutely love going on dates with my wife. We both are foodies and will try all varieties of cuisines. We also often take off for a day or two to spend at a resort. But it was three years ago, when we just got married, that on Valentine’s Day, I booked us a fancy suite. I don’t even want to recall how huge the bill was! Everything is unnecessarily expensive on the pretext of Valentine’s Day,” finds Karl Briggs, a photographer.
For a good number of couples, their aversion has got to do with the fact that there are just too many clichés attached to the day.
“I hate roses and I don’t fancy chocolate either but irrespective of who I’ve dated, I invariably am given roses and candy! Also, what’s with the candles everywhere? I am not against subtle lighting but I need to see my food! Also, I don’t understand why a woman is expected to be dressed all sexy on Valentine’s Day. It’s just a day, like any other. No fuss needed,” says advertising professional, Nikhila Premkumar.
Throwing light on why many couples do not find fulfilment on a day like this, is psychologist Shruthi Ahluwalia, explains: “One of the major reasons why some couples tend to dislike the day is because Valentine’s Day brings with it way too many expectations, which could eventually lead to disappointment, especially if it’s a new relationship you’ve got going.
For some who have had a bad experience in the past, celebrating another Valentine’s Day could bring back the mental trauma which his/her partner may not quite fully understand. Two people in a relationship may be quite different from each other so chances are one is always forced to do something he/she is not okay with.
It’s like an obligation because other couples are doing something on Valentine’s Day.
Basically, if you’ve got a relationship in which love is celebrated, one way or the other, every day, you can get past Valentine’s Day without being perturbed about it.”
