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Updated: November 2, 2009 19:15 IST

The Three-Minute Theory

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Could I draw hearts and sprinkle glitter around my column today? Hmmm. This is about the realities of immediate attraction, not so much the romance of it, so I’ll refrain. You are at a party, you hardly know anyone, and your lost eyes find another pair and lock instantly.

Conversation flows, you guys are talking. Talking, talking…and all the time this eerie feeling that you might have found Mr. Right keeps growing. Crazy! Or is it? Can anyone ever know something this life-changing, so fast? You know what, the answer is yes!

We humans are built to instantly size up a potential partner, an intuitive skill developed millions of years ago by our forefathers to sort out friends from enemies. I’ve discovered some delicious facts on how this works for us women, and I’m going to share it with you.

You’ll agree it takes less than a second to find someone attractive. If he fits your general concept of a hottie, your mind races to the next checkpoint. Voice. I’ll let you men in on a little secret. Women regard men with full, deep voices better looking than they actually are. Next: words. We like people who use the same kind of words as we do. We also infer degree of intelligence, background and values from words. Other factors — hygiene, the way he’s dressed, is he a Soccer fanatic, does he wear a gold watch or a tattoo? Research says this ‘sizing up’ takes all of three minutes. That’s all. Even on the bigger questions, such as kids or politics, we form an opinion within the first three minutes, if the conversation were to head that way. So when you do feel an immediate click, go ahead and trust your instincts.

There’s more in the list, but I have only 400 words and the truth really is, if you realise that the more you interact with this person, the more you regard him as smart, sexy and similar to you, it just might be ‘it’. Of course, unless you discover something later that breaks the spell. So, I would say, it is wise to hang on for a second meeting. And I hope you’ll be the one drawing hearts and bringing on the glitter!

(A fortnightly column on relationships)


The Ex, ExposedSeptember 22, 2009



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