Shayad meri shaadi ka khayal dil mein aya hai, isliye meri mummy ne aap ko chai pe bhulaya hai.
The translation: I believe my mother is thinking of getting me married, which is why you have been invited you over for tea.
As reflected in this Hindi song, tea is central to arranged marriages in India. It goes with any meeting called to discuss the possibility of a marriage alliance. Why was tea chosen for such a solemn occasion?
Tea drinkers believe the polyphenols in the brew soothe the nerves and clear the mind, enabling it to stay calm. As early as the 17the century, Dutch doctor and botanist Willem Ten Rhijnj hailed tea as the beverage that “promotes correspondence between both sexes”. So, tea is capable of effecting chemistry between the genders which is essential to success in marriage negotiations.
Sexual stereotypes and the retrograde thinking that the kitchen is a woman’s primary domain are sadly perpetuated through tea. In many parts of India, the potential bride is expected to make the tea and serve it to those assembled to negotiate the alliance. The image of a girl coyly carrying a tray of tea cups and respectfully offering them to the relatives of the potential groom is imprinted on the Indian psyche. The taste of the served tea is believed to contribute to the outcome of a marriage negotiation.
Many a television commercial for a tea brand has promoted the sickening idea that crossing the t’s is not enough, a girl has to choose her teas well too. There will always be a gaggle of relatives advising the potential bride on what tea to choose for the d-day. If it is Sharmas from Old Delhi, they will probably suggest Assam tea. If it is a family of Parsis from Pune, it will be second flush Darjeeling.
Another aspect of the ceremony is that the girl’s family is also on trail at tea time. The quality of the tea tray will also be factored into the decision-making process.
Marriage negotiations are known to have slipped between the cup and the lip.
Ingredients of “I’do” tea
Serve milk and also lemon slices separately for taste and snobbery. You can serve different types of sugar for the same reasons. A tea strainer is a must and use it rightly (strain only the tea, never the milk). If you really want to be true blue, then have a tea egg to hold the tea leaves in the teapot.
And, most importantly, stop looking coy and submissive.
