They get angry at the drop of a hat. Throwing tantrums, they often resort to foot-stomping, door-slamming, yelling, and much more. Teens have always been a vastly spoken about subject, especially for their behavioural pattern.
In the face of frequent teen outbursts, harried parents keep their tempers calm, not engaging in any altercation. The adolescents’ ever changing and restless lifestyle further pushes them away from the mainstream, parents feel.
The behaviour of an otherwise perky Chinki has people around her worrying over her frequent mood swings. “I am like that only; one minute I’m up and then I’m down; one minute I want to shout the house down, the next I feel so happy that I just want to hug everyone in the room at once,” confesses the young girl.
Impulsiveness, irresponsibility, excessive risk-taking and uncontrollable mood swings, seen as teen hallmarks, have been permanent charges against this young genre. While most parents feel that teenagers are the most difficult age group to understand because they can be moody and uncommunicative; it can be hard to know what thoughts are running through their heads, the latter have similar issues with adults. “It’s not so much what parents say that causes problems, it’s how they say it that causes us to shut down, tune out, and stop listening. And I couldn’t believe how much of what my parents said was just not getting through,” wonders a wide-eyed Priyanka Chaurasia.
“Teen code is our mode of communication, a system of language that parents often do not understand. It defines how we think and act, why we get tattoos and piercings, why we experiment with dangerous stuff, and how and why we are who we are, teens of today,” says a ‘rebellious’ Anjum.
On the other hand there are youngsters who seem quite adult and mature. “Teenagers are an increasingly responsible and sober bunch. Cut-throat competition in this ‘dog-eat-dog’ world has pushed parties and drugs to the back-burner. Careers are planned from a tender age and preparations are made for a lifetime of tuition fee loan repayments and pension contributions. Today’s teenagers are more sensible and far more responsible,” argues M. Lakshman Rao.
Dasari Parameswar agrees, “Where did all the fun go? What about the naïve, wide-eyed conflict that is supposed to happen when each teenage generation encounters an unprepared world? We are actually forcing the young ones to become prematurely middle-aged. Today, children in their teens develop formidable powers of problem-solving, creativity, self-analysis, focus, ambition, communication and social flexibility.”
Counselling psychologist T. S. Rao sees a major role for parents: “Emotional upheavals are common among teenagers. This is the time when peer groups wield immense influence and friends turn soul-mates. Parents should stop being preachy and instead, befriend their wards. Moving closer to them, they should become their friend, philosopher and guide,” he says.
