On February 3, a small celebration at Pahal Veedu went unnoticed. Inside the neat and compact adult day care centre opposite Fatima College, birthday celebrations were on. The guest list included Mrs.Vedamanickam, aged 94 years, Mrs.Martin (85), Mrs.Samson (82) and her husband Mr.Samson (84), Mr.David Sembon (77), Mr.Devapragasam (78), Mrs.Jeyaselvi (65) and 40 others.
They had not gathered to celebrate any individual’s birthday and cut a cake. But it was a momentous occasion for each of them. For the last six years, they have been spending their days outside their homes and in the company of like-minded friends here at the centre, which has become a second home to them.
It was on this same day in 2009 that Mrs.Vedamanickam was the first person to walk in to spend some quality time, chat away and make new friends. “Loneliness at home is overpowering,” she says. Soon nine more elderly people equally eager to fight the boredom in their lives after retirement joined. Today, there are 54 of them who regularly come to Pahal Veedu to share moments of togetherness and laughter.
“Please make a note,” Samson tells me, “none of us comes from a broken family or has been abandoned by the son or the daughter.” “We all belong to happy families and choose to come here to spend the day together playing, talking, eating,” he asserts.
His wife adds the daily visits help them to improve their emotional health and benefit all aspects of their life. That morning all of them attended a special prayer and savoured piping hot delicious halwa as a treat. Nutritious and healthy wheat biriyani followed for lunch. On other days too they never forget to exchange smiles, greetings and gentle banter. Munching on cookies and in between sips of tea, they play indoor memory and board games, watch TV, read newspapers, books and magazines, solve puzzles and Sudoku and test themselves in word building almost in a competitive spirit.
There is never a dull moment. Rather, an abundance of positivity, intelligence and well balanced devotion holds them all together beautifully.
“We all have loving families back home but everybody goes out to work or study and we have nothing to do,” reiterates Devapragasam. During their active life, they had been doctors, engineers, veterinarians, teachers, tahsildars, businessmen, head masters of schools. But retirement forced them to stay indoors and loneliness started biting. “It affects your health,” points out Jeyaselvi. “Each of us was looking for some rewarding experience and we found it here,” she adds.
Pahal Veedu is the brain child of Jeyasuresh and his wife Maureen of the Jayaraj automobile group. A friend of theirs had suggested such a centre after seeing one in Kochi. “Old people feel lonely even in a house full of people mainly because they are not able to communicate,” says Jeyasuresh. They are either not understood because of generation gap or ignored due to their children’s lack of time and the aging parents also choose to remain silent as they do not want to burden their already over-worked children.”
It is a vicious cycle, says Maureen Jayaraj, because everybody is so caught up in their respective routines. “There is hardly any time left for that little extra.”
Pahal Veedu has grown big only through word of mouth, says Jeyasuresh. Those who come here realise how interaction helps to keep them mentally agile and emotionally strong.
“There is no strain on family finances either,” adds Mr.David. “We come here to boost our mood, build our resilience and relax. It adds to the overall enjoyment of life,” he says.
Jeyasuresh and Maureen screen the applicants before registering them for a fee of Rs.50 each. Those with any major illnesses are not taken in as the centre is essentially meant to be a place for unwinding and self-renewal and is run with help and support of a nurse, social worker, manager, helper and a driver. Those who have the means come on their own and the rest are daily picked up and dropped back in a van run by the centre, which remains open from 10 a.m to 4 p.m. from Monday to Friday. The members are, however, free to walk in and leave whenever they want. They bring their own lunch boxes and the daily quota of medicines if any.
“Not a single member has left us. The number has only grown, says manager Jebi Victoria, and adds, “in fact none of them seems to have aged either!” In a home-like atmosphere, we give them creative options to keep dementia at bay. It is a pleasure to look at their triumphant faces when they are able to work out the puzzles, she says.
Routine monthly health check-up is provided for the members and in case of any medical irregularity, the family is immediately informed. Visitors and friends of Jeyasuresh and Maureen often come and chat with the senior citizens. Housewives drop in to cook a meal or give a cooking demo.
“We feel honoured to provide this kind of a social outlet and mental stimulation that so many seniors go without,” say Jeyasuresh and Maureen, whose next project is to build an inventory of old medical equipment like wheelchairs, crutches, walking sticks and walkers. “In many homes these are dumped as waste after use. By giving them away, people can help to improve the lives of so many elderly citizens in our society,” says Jeyasuresh.
With Pahal Veedu members gaining confidence year after year meshing perfectly with their surroundings and avoiding isolation, one realises it is compassion that makes the difference between devastation and strength. There are so many others also trying to preserve their dignity and looking for some cheer.
“When the seniors have a chance to get out of the house, socialize and participate in activities with others,” says Maureen, “it is no longer maintenance but active long-term living.”
(Making a difference is a fortnightly column about ordinary people and events that leave an extraordinary impact on us. E-mail soma.basu@thehindu.co.in to tell her about someone you know who is making a difference)
