Presidential suites always remind me of rockstars. While the days of driving cars into swimming pools and flinging TVs out of tenth floor windows are long gone, you know that any rocker worth his guitar stays in the presidential suite of a hotel. Thanks to the minimalist millennium, you can imagine a decadent rocker looking something like Hugh Grant in About a Boy indulged in all manners of civilised debauchery in resplendent settings, while the well-dressed entourage keeps a watchful eye.
Since I cannot hold a tune to save my life, the closest thing to being a rockstar would be to stay at a presidential suite and so I jumped at the chance of staying overnight at the said suite at The Oberoi. Despite not having to fend off armies of groupies or dealing with blisters on my fingers from playing the guitar, (cannot have blisters from working on a comp), I landed up at the Oberoi for lunch and to check in. Lunch at Szechwan Court is wonderful as always and then it is time for Amit Kaul to show me around the suite. I peer happily at beige, cream, mustard and dull gold, graciously proportioned rooms. A dining room, a pantry, a guest powder room, a sitting space and the bedroom with a gorgeously-appointed bath. There are silk and gossamer curtains, rugs, a teak wood floor, and royal ink-blue cushions add a rich splash of colour. I can imagine Robert Plant putting the rug and cushions to inventive use but then we are not in the swinging seventies. Sigh. I need to get back to work — no, not put the final riffs on a rock anthem, it is more prosaic stuff. I am back in time for the horticulture tour of the property — that is part of the Garden Tea Party Oberoi experience. I’m taken on a walk and I look at the pretty purple lantanas, the red jatropas and blue plumbago — yes it is a plant and not something you get because of drinking too much! We also stop by the pond where the fish swim by lazily. Tea at the Polo Club includes bite-size sandwiches, masala tea and lovely, lovely macaroons.
One among the many cool things about the Oberoi is the spa which is open 24/7. So even though I have not just stepped off a transatlantic flight (negotiating peak hour traffic in the Central Business District is more harrowing) I check out the spa. A super pedicure and gold toenails later I go for a neck and shoulder massage, which is just what the doctor ordered for desk jockeys. I order dinner from Rim Naam in the room using Oberoi Enhance — the iPad that does everything from letting you choose a movie to ordering a meal. I have dinner sitting at the table watching Despicable Me 2 . Oh, you think rockstars don’t watch cartoons? Then what was all that heavy metal doing in Megamind ?
I potter off to the bedroom which is spacious without being overwhelming — that is the theme of the whole suite actually — elegant, with every amenity and then some more. I have already told my butler (my own personal butler!) that I would like tea at 6.30 in the morning and have decided to have it on the balcony listening to birdsong (in the centre of the city, how cool is that?) and looking at the 118-year-old rain tree. For now, I will read Ruth Rendell’s latest, thoughtfully provided by the hotel. So what if I cannot nail the furniture to the roof? I can curl up on the super-comfortable armchair and read what Inspector Wexford is up to in his retirement. Which an older Plant will definitely choose over raising merry mayhem!
Name: The Oberoi, Bangalore
Contact: 37-39, M.G.Road, Bangalore -560 001. Tel 91-80-25585858. www.oberoihotels.com
(The writer was at The Oberoi on invitation by the hotel)
