In a few days, it will be Akshaya Tritiya and I can barely wait. Imagine, an entire day just to buy gold. I’ll buy jewellery or coins or more jewellery. After all, I can’t be like those crass Kumars next door and buy gold bars. Terrible people, always wanting everything bigger... I tried telling them we are a poor country and really, it doesn’t look nice to buy gold bars when you are not buying your cook Lakshmi a new umbrella even. But will they listen? Anyway, enough about them. I don’t like to be all Jonesy about my neighbours. So what if they have a new Jaguar? And a 62” television? And a Chihuahua? I am quite happy with my St. Bernard, thank you. At least I can see him, poor thing.
So, about this gold buying day. You see, it’s not enough that we buy gold pretty much constantly — for ourselves, for our daughters, for our sons-in-law, for the cousin’s newborn and so on ad nauseam. We must also buy gold on the designated buying day because when we do that — as the best ad agencies assure us — Lakshmi (the goddess, not the cook) will come traipsing through our doors and take permanent residence in our homes.
After all these years, you would imagine that Lakshmi would be an even more permanent guest in my house than that annoying cousin from Ranchi. But no, she (Lakshmi) must be invited year after year. With more gold buying.
Frankly, I don’t mind. After all, what greater pleasure than to wade through five-deep layers of people smashed up against the counters, shouting out for more earrings and bangles? The fragrance of sweat, stale talc and decaying jasmine wafts through the air; shiny synthetic blouses competitively slide past each other; and aggressive women shove you out of the line with plastic baskets and majestic midriffs. My vocabulary improves by the minute. I have discovered haarams and chokers, balas and studs, belly chains and temple designs.
But more, much more than this, Akshaya Tritiya combines the two Tamil passions for gold and Mathematics effortlessly. Imagine fending off Maroon Nylon Blouse on the left with your elbow, furtively trying to trip up Pink Mysore Silk on the right, and simultaneously deciphering (correctly!) how much that necklace costs less 20 per cent wastage, plus 15 per cent making charges, minus 12 per cent discount on the diamond. By the time I found the Calculator app on my phone, the lady next to me had haggled for a further discount and left the shop. I wouldn’t waste time sending my kids to tuition when they can learn so much more from a trip to a gold shop.
My love for this festival is so unbounded that I decided to delve deep into research about its origins. After two minutes of intense Googling, I discovered that no single legend explains it. Some make a tenuous link to the Akshaya Pathra or endless feeding bowl that Krishna gifted the Pandavas, while others claim that it all started when the impoverished Sudama went to visit his friend Krishna for help but returned empty-handed, too ashamed to ask, only to find his hut transformed into a palace. Said one helpful website: “This happened because of Lord Krishna’s boon. Since then, the day of Akshaya Tritiya is associated with material gains and wealth.” Never mind that Sudama did not go around buying bracelets on a 20 per cent offer but only took Krishna a handful of pounded rice.
Don’t imagine, though, that our jewellers are ignorant of this humble connection. There are lots of rice pearl sets going, and one website had an excellent offer on a “bridal mala necklace chain called as ‘Akshata Mala/Rice Maala/Tandali Mala’ in plain gold called so because the gold beads are in rice pattern attached to another”. I clicked ‘Buy’ instantly because the price tag said 3,630.15, till I reached the payment page and realised the price was in US dollars. I don’t think I have pressed the Backspace button that fast before.
After that, I have stayed away from websites, especially since the shops are now offering even more variety. Apparently, with every gold purchase we will now get, hold your breath, yes, a gold coin free.
