The impossible happened.

For years, I was convinced that Jhoom Barabar Jhoom has to be the worst ever Bollywood adaptation of Richard Linklater’s cult romance Before Sunrise.

The best and probably the least loyal being the first half of Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge that turned a conversation film into a musical and the most loyal in spirit being Anu Menon’s London Paris New York that stuck to the two character conversation narrative that at least departed to three different cities.

On Friday, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom made way for Prem Raj’s Ishkq in Paris (co-written by Preity Zinta herself) as the worst ever Before Sunrise adaptation Bollywood could have ever churned out!

At least Jhoom Barabar Jhoom had that title song that wormed its way into our heads by the end of the film as much as we hated it.

Conversation films, unfortunately dear makers, are not just about any random conversation or rom-com-ish banter. There’s nothing even remotely entertaining or interesting about this terribly staged, awfully performed and weakly written walk around Paris that is filled with nothing but postcard clichés of the city and even that is not shot well.

This is a film so lame that characters walk around with a die that has different things written on it (Dinner, Dance, Movie, Party, Coffee, Sex, etc.) and just roll it to decide what the next scene/location will be. Like they didn’t have a script. Or wait, maybe they really, literally, didn’t have one and made it up on the set (that would explain writing credits shared by the actress and the director).

As a result, this is a self-conscious “Let’s spend a romantic night like that Before Sunrise movie but in Paris instead of Vienna” movie that is trying hard to be cutesy and romantic only to have you cringe, wince and roll your eyes during the longest 96 minutes of your lives. One that will ruin Paris for you, forever.

There are a couple of unwarranted cameos thrown in for bragging rights (“See we got Isabelle Adjani and Shekhar Kapoor to make a fool of themselves!”) and a dance number by Salman Khan for old times’ sake because as Bhai says before breaking into a song, “Ek baar jo maine commitment kar diya...”

Unfortunately, none of it makes this train wreck-of-a-death-in-slow motion any less painful.

If you are feeling suicidal, go for Ishkq in Paris.

Even if you weren't feeling suicidal before the film, chances are, that after it, you will be.

Genre: Romance

Director: Prem Raj

Cast: Preity Zinta, Rhehan Malliek, Isabelle Adjani, Shekhar Kapoor

Storyline: Boy meets girl on train, spend night walking and talking around Paris and fall in love (wait, that IS Before Sunrise)

Bottomline: Another Bollywood adaptation of Before Sunrise that has neither decent conversation nor chemistry to make it work