It’s a profitable time to be a ghost. No, not the kind that spook us in horror movies, but the writing variety — especially the ones that are producing amazing books for wealthy celebrities.
“It’s scary,” said my friend Jojo, a struggling author, who’s trying to sell his manuscript. “These ghost writers are taking over our industry. How else do you explain this rampant urge by Bollywood stars to reveal all — not literally, but you know, literally?”
“But our stars are quite an articulate bunch these days. So it’s not surprising they are capable of writing, too,” I tried saying.
“Are you kidding me? These articulate stars are either holding forth at conclaves, or secretly making babies in closets. So where does any celeb have the time to write?” he asked.
True. Yet Ms Khanna showed that stars don’t just Twinkle, they write funny books. And it is only in the fitness of things that our screen gods and goddesses share the secrets of their bodies in print. Shilpa Shetty did. You’ll see a very shapely Shilpa filling the cover of her book, but you won’t see anybody called Luke Coutinho there.
Kareena, too, went from size zero to hero in bookshops, with a book on staying slim and trim. She even wrote a couple of paragraphs in this bestseller, while her personal ghost, er, co-author, Rujuta, helped add weight to the book. Glowing with success, Kareena gave birth to another book — a style diary. Ah yes, through surrogacy, with a fashionista called Rochelle this time. It won’t be long, we hear, till hubby Saif catches up and writes a book on how to make, and even name, babies, temporarily titled Jab We Mate .
And we just heard that Hrithik Roshan will also be out with his book, because he’s been spotted in the gym exercising his fingers, not just his biceps. The star confessed that he was thinking of writing a book, later this year. “Hriting can be so hrewarding!” feels Hrithik. Or was it his friendly ghost talking?
Superstars like Amitabh Bachchan seem content with several biographies, written entirely by others. And while there’s nothing our Rajni Kant do, he can’t it seems, write books. So he’s very happy his literary daughter Aishwarya recently had a book out, with insights into life with her super-Appa. While the ultimate superstar of words, Shah Rukh Khan, is busy writing a selfie, in between posing for fans.
And despite Rishi Kapoor confessing years ago in a song in Bobby that he was no poet (“ Main shayar tho nahin ”), he’d like us to believe he’s great at prose. Though he was gracious enough to be all ‘ khullam khulla ’ and open about having his ghost quietly sit next to him at every book release.
Karan Johar found a suitable girl to beget his story, and also an attractive ghost, Poonam, who wore a pink sari and even sat on stage at the Jaipur Literature Festival.
Meanwhile, our very own loquacious Queen, Kangana, needs no help with ghosts in her bold, reveal-all book, probably titled Napotism . Karan Johar may snigger at her pronunciation, but Kangana is probably writing about how to succeed in the film industry without napping around, or being born to famous parents.
Which is all very fine, but something my distraught friend Jojo said has me seriously worried. A royal blood pedigree star, Soha Ali Khan, is now planning to write a book, too. “I do love to read, and I do that quite well, so it can’t be much harder to write, right?” said a dimpling Soha recently, with brilliant logic. But then, as Jojo says, she flies a lot, and does that make her competent to fly planes?
Celebrity jottings
An Unsuitable Boy, by Karan Johar/Poonam Saxena (2017)
Khullam Khulla, by Rishi Kapoor/Meena Iyer (2017)
The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad, by Twinkle Khanna (2016)
Standing on an Apple Box, by Aishwaryaa Rajinikanth Dhanush (2016)
Coming soon:
The Perils of Being Moderately Famous, by Soha Ali Khan (2017)
(Untitled) Memoir by Hrithik Roshan (2017)
Indu Balachandran is an advertising, travel and humour writer. Her latest book, Runaway Writers, is ghost written by herself.
