letter from a concerned reader Opinion

Tit for tat

Respected Madam/Sir,

Insulting means there are rules or no? You go to other people’s house, ok they can insult you. Fine. You meet somebody outside in park. Enjoy and insult each other, it is free country. But when somebody comes to house? Then? Whether you must get insulted? Never. It is called common courtesy. But these days where is time for common courtesy and all.

What is the timetable of youths these days? 10 a.m.: Breakfast. 11 a.m.-2 p.m.: Dance like buffoons on TikTok type app. 2 p.m.-4 p.m.: Come to Mathrubootham house and do insulting talks. 4 p.m.-8 p.m.: Fight with other youths about international matters on Twitter as if UN General Secretary has personally asked for inputs. 9 p.m.: Dinner. 10 p.m.: Sit outside in public place wearing white earphones hanging from ear as if infection is there, but whether listening to music? Never. Just sitting and doing talks with other youths.

Any sense is there in this? It is like wearing shirt-pant, then putting swimming trunks on top because what if suddenly swimming mood is coming?

Why suddenly Mathrubootham is shouting about youths? I will explain. Listen carefully and please circulate amongst youths in your office.

Two-three days ago Mrs. Mathrubootham is suddenly entering the living room and destroying all peace of mind like Mukesh Ambani entering new industry. She said, please keep house clean at 4 p.m. ok? I said what nonsense Kamalam, house is already clean. She said, old man I just found four banana peels behind the bed. One peel maybe from 1995. Whether you will listen? Never. Better to throw maida at one chicken and wait for egg puffs.

I said, Kamalam ok fine, I will clean the house, long time we have not tried mutta puff? She said, if you clean I will consider. I asked who is coming at 4 p.m.? She said nephew of Ladies Association member is coming to wait in our flat till lady returns from meeting. I said one prayer to Tirupati Balaji and carefully removed two banana peel and one apple core from under sofa.

Sharp 4 p.m. who came to the house? Nobody. Rascal fellow is coming at 4:25 p.m. I said welcome. Please relax. Books is there. DVD is there. TV is there. Please enjoy. He looked at books and said, uncle you are still reading Alastair Maclean? Whether you have any new thrillers written after 1980s? I said hahaha, young man, this and all are classic novels.

Then he went to DVD stand and after 10 minutes came back and said whether I am watching any popular movies or only rare type films. I said, what abhisekham of nonsense you are pouring over my head fellow? Spartacus is rare type film? Zorba The Greek is rare film? Raise the Titanic? What films you are watching?

He said uncle have you seen Christopher Nolan films? Or read books by Knausgaard? Or maybe essay by David Sedaris?

Just as my hand is reaching for flower vase, Kamalam came and said, old man, please go and purchase mutta puffs. I said ok. I asked the boy hello, whether you want mutta puffs? He said no, he has not touched maida since 5-6 years.

Ten minutes later three of us are sitting in dining room. Kamalam and myself eating puffs with tomato sauce. Boy sitting and looking. I can see the water in his mouth. He asked, how is the puff? Kamalam said kanna you want to try one?

Before he could reply, I said Kamalam what nonsense he cannot eat this. I went to the kitchen and came back with banana and apple and put in front of him. Then I quietly sat and ate mutta puffs in slow motion as if perfume advertisement.

Yours in revenge,

J. Mathrubootham

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Printable version | Nov 29, 2020 11:25:36 PM | https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/tit-for-tat/article32931152.ece

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