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The Mandala of Mr. Mathrubootham: a midnight mystery

Image: Getty Images/ iStock

Image: Getty Images/ iStock  

‘Suddenly I heard one sound. It was like dum dum dum dum’

Respected Madam/ Sir,

I wish very hearty good mornings to yourself and all colleagues. Here what is morning? One hundred per cent manangkatti mannangkatti. Whether morning can be good if sound sleep is not there? Never, thousand times never.

Story started last night around 10:30 p.m. Mrs. Mathrubootham is watching some YouTube items. I was reading superhit novel by Jamyang Norbu. It is called The Mandala of Sherlock Holmes. Have you read this novel? It is amazing. Whenever time is permitting please ask editor of books department in our esteemed paper to find Mr. Norbu and say bloody fool, whether you will write new novels or just do timepass?

What I was saying? Ok, it’s night. I am reading novel, and suspense emotions are coming like anything. It is almost 11 o’clock. Suddenly I heard one sound. It was like dum dum dum dum. I said, “Kamalam, did you hear that?” But Mrs. M already sleeping like fallen coconut tree lying on ground. Then sound is gone. I said maybe air conditioner in some flat causing problem. Reading and reading. Then suddenly one more dum dum. Nearby coconut tree is still sleeping.

I went to phone and called Dr. Shankaramenon. “Hello doctor,” I said, “noise is coming in the night.” He said, “Mathrubootham how many times I have told avoid non-veg items at dinner time otherwise noise only will come?” I said, “What nonsense you are talking, noise is not coming from me.” He said, “Apologies, please tell Mrs. Mathrubootham to have some control when eating bread, bun and other baking powder type items, otherwise nonstop sound will come.”

I said, “Dr. Madashiromani, if you will keep quiet for one second, I can say something? Some sound is coming inside house. Whether you can hear also? It is sounding like dum dum dum.” He said, “Mathrubootham, no sound in my house, I will come to your house in five minutes.”

Madam/ Sir, we stood in the living room. No noise. Then we stood in the kitchen. Pindrop silence. I said, “Doctor, sorry for wasting time, maybe it is my imagination.” Then I went and sat in the bed and immediately I heard, dum dum dum. What nonsense is this I shouted in low volume due to sleeping of Mrs. M. I ran out of flat and said, “Doctor, doctor, come back. Dum dum dum is returned.” He came with me to bedroom. I said, “Can you hear now? God promise, I am hearing sound just now.” “Nothing.”

I said, “Dr. Shankaramenon, do one thing. You sit on the bed. Within two minutes you will hear sound.” He said, ok.

Madam/ Sir, whether I was born under some shani dosham? Why so much bad luck in one life? Till that moment Mrs. M is sleeping like polar bear in Christmas season. Next moment she is awake. And what did she see next to her in the bed? Dr. Shankaramenon.

Shouting means export quality ISI mark shouting began. Then she said, “Next time doctor I see your face within 100 metres means immediate police station phone call, get out of house now.” Afterwards she said, bloody fool old man where is my phone? I said, “How I will know; you were only doing YouTube.” She searched and found it stuck under mattress. She took out phone and some film was still playing. I asked, “Kamalam, whether any dum dum dum songs are there in this film?” She said, “It is full of dum dum dum songs, why you are asking?”

I said, “No, no, just curiosity.” Then I quietly went to sleep.

Yours in embarrassment,

J. Mathrubootham

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Printable version | Feb 27, 2020 9:39:27 AM | https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/columns/the-mandala-of-mr-mathrubootham-a-midnight-mystery/article30586772.ece

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