The import of being a woman

My princess! That is what we hear in our childhood. We live in a fantasy world. Everything in that world is good and beautiful. We have no worries. We are at the centre of everyone’s attention. Life can’t be any better for us. We are given the best education. We are at the top of the class. We enjoy studying. We enjoy competing. We don’t want to learn because we have to, or are made to but because we enjoy doing so. There is no difference between “the guys” and us. If anything we are more sincere and hard working.

I don’t know why this notion exists that we want to be one of the boys; no we don’t. We have our own life. We are doing things we want to. We start growing; we know we are a different sex. We have to be more careful in the things we say, the way we eat, and the way we sit. Fine, let it be that way. We are willing to accept that fact too. But that does not mean we are dependent on someone. We still have an identity. It is all cool in the beginning, till the time we are studying and are young; we don’t have to worry about things like marriage and all that.

If a man knows he has to create the world himself, then why doesn’t the woman know the same? Why isn’t she taught the same things? We don’t always want to look pretty. We dress up for ourselves, not for others. We groom ourselves because we want to, not because the world wants us to. We don’t look good to get jobs. We don’t sweet talk our way into everything. We want a job because we deserve it and have worked for it and not because we are pretty and will be a trophy for the company.

And then the time comes when everyone around you starts feeling that you are a girl, the weaker sex: You now need to get married. More than your parents, it is the society that pesters you.

“Beta, ab to kaafi padh liya, ab kya?” Ab kya! Now we want to work. Why do you think we have studied so hard in life? So that we have a fancy degree on our shelf. No … Wake up people, we have done it so that we can work and achieve our goals. When we were young and setting goals for our self, then why were we not stopped at that time? Why were we not told, “Don’t be so hard on you. You finally have to settle down.”

I strongly believe that everyone to themselves. If a girl wants to be a home-maker, good for her. That’s her opinion. But if a girl wants to give priority to her career, then let her do that. Everyone does want to get settled eventually. But in our society people make it sound like a cumbersome task.

Another thing that I can’t stand is when parents address their daughters by saying:

“Tu to mera beta hai.” Why so? Have you ever seen a parent telling their son,

“Tu to meri beti hai.” If that, ever said, will be an understatement or a taunt.

People need to change their mindset. No matter how many laws based on equality and women’s reservation are passed. Till people don’t agree to change their mindset, nothing can be changed. There is no comparison between a son and a daughter. The faster people understand that, the better it is.

sanjana.sm3@gmail.com